Saturday, August 28, 2010

DC Cake Trail

One of my favorite blogs is Scotland for the Senses, and today's post (well, I think it's today, but the author talks about going on hiatus, so maybe it was written earlier) is on her Edinburgh cake trail!  What a great idea!  Like most great ideas, they are somebody else's, but who cares?  I'm happy to reveal the sources of my genius so other can enjoy it, too.

It occurs to me that blogging about a DC cake trail would be something I could do--go somewhere and have a cup of tea and a piece of cake.  That's not too hard or expensive to do.  In fact, I already have a couple of entries on my DC cake trail--even though two of them are not in DC per se.  They're more in the greater DC metropolitan area. I'll make sure to take pictures after this first post, too.

#1 is the carrot cake at Joe Muggs's Coffee, which is inside Books-A-Million on Dupont Circle, where New Hampshire Ave heads off toward Maryland.  Really, there are a gazillion places to get carrot cake in DC, but this is really good!  It's moist and tender, and even the carrot bits are bright and fresh.  Also, there is just enough of their dreamy cream cheese frosting.  A+, Joe Muggs!! 
#2 is the Citrus Pound Cake at Mon Ami Gabi in Bethesda, 7239 Woodmont Ave.  (And yes, Cathy, there IS a Mon Ami Gabi in Las Vegas!!)  Because my faithful luncheon companion and I always share one dessert, I'm happy to say that this is one big slab of tender pound cake splashed with lemon curd, fresh fruits in a vanilla sage sauce, and plenty of whipped cream!  Verra good.  Leave room for dessert if you want this.  I'm not kidding.
#3 is the sweet potato cupcake at Delectable Cakery by the south side of the traffic circle on Rhode Island Avenue and 34th St. in Mt. Rainier, MD.  (Disclaimer: this happens to be right next to my landlady's frame shop, so I've had lots of them--still, their appeal never dies.)  It's a little sweetie darling of a cupcake. A great way to get your veggies, too.
 I spotted what looked like a great piece of cake in Georgetown's La Ruche this afternoon, too, although I eschewed dessert so I could get to the previews before "Eat, Pray, Love" started.  I'll go back and see if it's any good.  Nothing like proper research!!!

I have a dream--full version

Today, the (pick one) Teabaggers/pseudo patriots/whiners about government/the shockingly ignorant and disrespectful will be claiming to "restore honor" to (pick one) the National Mall/the Lincoln Memorial/white trash everywhere in this US of A.  This is shocking hubris from who else? Faux News and its house puppets.

If you're not inclined to add to the crowd count, you can stay home and honor the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who spoke it on this day many years ago, by listening to his speech.

XE thanks Charles Blow in today's NY Times for this great idea.  Blow writes,
I’ve come to the conclusion that anger is the wrong reaction to Beck’s rally in Washington. Anger provides too low a return on investment. It consumes a tremendous amount of energy, but yields little progress. Instead, we should each take this opportunity to listen to the “I Have a Dream” speech once more, paying particular attention to how the echoes of yesterday’s struggles reverberate in our present struggles, and to recommit ourselves to the nobility of righteous pursuits.
We should use Glenn’s nightmare to reconnect with Martin’s dream.
[If the above link doesn't work, here's the video:

 

Friday, August 27, 2010

TGIF

Got the latest update on Best in Blogs from SixApart this ayem.   And while snooping around, I found this gem on Foodinista (one of the top 10 food blogs of the Best in Blogs):

http://thefoodinista.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/preschool-packed-lunch-week-in-review

This may be too late for you, or maybe you have found it....but these are the BEST preschool lunches
I've ever seen!!  in fact, I think this would make fabulous DIET lunches for fat old folks like me!! 

TGIF!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

We don't want THESE Leaves of Grass!!

This past weekend, I got this email from a fellow Mt. Rainier resident in the town website:
[On Sunday] I will be up at Little Paint Branch Park to work on clearing a patch of two aggressive invasive plants that are threatening the wonderful native woodlands plants that live there, and I'm inviting people to join me. The two plants (wavyleaf basketgrass and Japanese stilt grass) are very easy to remove, and it only takes a few minutes to learn to identify them.
I googled around and found this about wavyleaf basketgrass in the blog Invasive Notes
An invasive species is spreading from the Baltimore area of Maryland south to Washington and west to the Blue Ridge of Virginia. Like a fire in the forest, wavyleaf basketgrass (Oplismenus hirtellus subsp. undulatifolius (Ard.) U. Scholz, Phanerog. Monogr.) [1] is spreading rapidly and replacing the natural diversity with its mono-culture habit of eco-system and eco-service destruction. This grass, which remains taxonomically confused and, therefore, not precisely identified or categorized, is spreading in public parks and on private lands in the Baltimore Washington Metropolitan area.
The other invasive species, Japanese Stilt Grass, is featured here.
Japanese stilt grass is currently established in 16 eastern states, from New York to Florida. It occurs on stream banks, river bluffs, floodplains, emergent and forested wetlands, moist woodlands, early successional fields, uplands, thickets, roadside ditches, gas and power-line corridors, lawns and gardens. Japanese stilt grass threatens native understory vegetation in full sun to deep shade. Stilt grass readily invades disturbed shaded areas, like floodplains that are prone to natural scouring, and areas subject to mowing, tilling and other soil-disturbing activities including white-tailed deer traffic. It spreads opportunistically following disturbance to form dense patches, displacing native wetland and forest vegetation as the patch expands. Japanese stilt grass appears to be associated with moist, acidic to neutral soils that are high in nitrogen.
 I took these two photos of stilt grass; the bottom photo shows the shiny midrib on its leaf.

 The leaf of stilt grass has a distinguishing shiny midrib so you can tell it from other plants.  It looks sort of like very delicate bamboo. They're easy to pull up, and we want to get them now before they start flowering and producing seeds next month.  (One of the distinguishing characteristics of stilt grass is that it is very easy to pull up.  If you have to tug or feel a wiry stem, it may not be stilt grass.)

Alas, I didn't take any photos of the wavyleaf basketgrass.  (You can see these in the link to Invasive Notes above.) The leaves, as described, are, well, way...kind of rumpled and thicker than the stilt grass and also a bit hairy or fuzzy on the top.  Some of that has started the flowering/seed process already.  I found almost a dozen plants with seeds on them, and they require careful handling so as not to knock off the seeds.  We put them in bags, but I don't know what our leader/guide will do with them.  All the plants with seeds were growing under fallen branches resting about 6-8" above the ground.  The basketgrass also sends out shoots from nodules along the stems, so it does produce a mat fast. The long shoots make it harder to pull up, too.
 
Even though my college degree is in biology, it was all human biology or microbiology--no plants.  So I'm enjoying this tremendously.  I think I may have found a good volunteer niche. 

We were going to go yesterday (Sunday) but got rained out.  Today was dry, sunny, and cooler...perfect for pulling weeds in the forest.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Happy 90th Birthday, Dear Lida!!!



Lida Moser and her family know how to throw a swell party!  Lida joyfully greeted her many guests for her 90th birthday fete this afternoon.  Lida's birthday was really this past Tuesday, but as she said, "Nobody can come to a party in the middle of the week," so we all gathered today instead.  Lida's cousin Stephanie set it all up at Lida's favorite Greek restaurant, and it was a blast.

There's nobody at all like Lida: acclaimed photographer, artist, and writer; warm, affectionate, loyal friend; generous companion; lover of all that's beautiful and good. Lida says she loves being old. She says this stage of her life has been wonderful and full of grace.  It hasn't been easy, but she's fought off illness and injury with her characteristic vigor and persistence.  

Happy birthday, Lida!  I'm so lucky to be your friend. 

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Three steps backward--and another step back, too.

1.  I am flummoxed by my cell phone camera.  Or is it the PC?  the Mac?  I can't download the photos any more.  I used to be able to email them from the camera to my laptop, but in their efforts to improve my life, HP and/or Mac have removed a step from the process--the one that puts the URL of the photo in the email and thus allows me to move it to my desktop, drop it into iPhoto and fiddle with it, and then move it back to the desktop whence I can attach it to my blog or an email.  Hmph.  It still arrives in my email, but when I go to download it, I get this program that won't let me have my way with my own photo.

2.  One of my back teeth fell apart!  Too much brushing and flossing, I say.  For years, the only thing holding my teeth together has been the plaque!

3.  I firmly believe I had the right to vote for President Obama, but after his flipflop on the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque" (which is not exactly an accurate description), I'm not so sure about the wisdom of doing that.

4. My ongoing fitness program goes on--or sometimes--away.  Today I got to the swimming pool and was too tired to go down, get into my suit, take the shower, etc., then go find giant-size flippers and a bouyancy belt, and swim.  So I just sat in a nice comfy chair in the lobby, read my new book while a bunch of exuberant, post-swim 4-year-olds pounded on the windows overlooking the pool, and fell asleep.  Bliss.  I so needed that nap.  







 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Happy Ramadan from Guess Who?

Digby has a great post on Hullaballoo today, and here it is:

Commemorating Sanity

by digby

It's great to see President Obama stand up for religious tolerance at a time like this:

According to the teachings of Islam, Ramadan commemorates the revelation of God's word in the Holy Koran to the prophet Mohammad. The word has become the foundation for one of the world's great religions.

During Ramadan, we are reminded of Islam's long and distinguished history. Throughout the centuries, the Islamic world has been home to great centers of learning and culture. People of all faiths have benefited from the achievements of Muslims in fields from philosophy and poetry to mathematics and medicine.

This reminds us that one of the great strengths of our nation is its religious diversity. Americans practice many different faiths. But we all share a belief in the right to worship freely. We reject bigotry in all its forms.

And over the past eight years, my administration has been proud to work closely with Muslim Americans to promote justice and tolerance of all faiths.


Oh sorry. That was President Bush, well known left wing terrorist sympathizer.

Here's Obama:

Let me be clear: as a citizen, and as President, I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as anyone else in this country. That includes the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances," Obama said.

"This is America, and our commitment to religious freedom must be unshakeable."


Considering that the majority of Republicans ignorantly believe he is a Muslim (and a large number of others are fine with tossing the First Amendment if it makes someone -- of the right persuasion --- uncomfortable) I think that's pretty bold and I'm glad to see him unequivocally stake out the sane, rational position, regardless of the polls. But it's a sad comment on this country that two years after Bush spoke those words and almost nine years after 9/11 that the president reaffirming religious tolerance is suddenly considered controversial.

Again, I ask, why now? I realize that there was always a fair amount of Muslim hatred going on after 9/11, but shrieking harpies like Pamela Gellar were in the margins and nobody felt comfortable saying that mainstream American Muslims should be shunned. Perhaps it's a coincidence, but the only thing that's happened between then and now is the election of Barack Obama, who millions of morons believe is the (secret) first Muslim president, apparently bent on turning the US into Saudi Arabia.

What the hell is happening to this place?

\

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Oh, the Places You'll Go....!!!

Xtreme English welcomes The Skoog Farm Journal and its companion blog, Art Walks on Water to its pages--i.e., to the list of "Blogs I Love" on the right-hand side of home page.

These two blogs astonish me with their beauty and warmth--if it's not photographs or splendid writing and art, it's Skoog Farm Radio!

Lori Skoog, their creator, is a retired art teacher who lives with her husband and a bunch of critters on a horse and organic garlic farm (that's what it says) in western New York. 

Welcome, Lori...and thanks for sharing your riches with us.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Thoughts in the Jurassic Age.....



I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love for the past week.  It's been out for a while--five years--and Cathy lent it to me at least four years ago. She was full of enthusiasm for all sorts of things after reading it--going to an ashram, travelling to Italy--but for some strange reason, I couldn't get past the first few pages.

Last week, don't ask me why, I was looking for something to read, pulled it off the shelf, and haven't been able to put it down.  Ordinarily I'm a very fast reader--it's nothing for me to read a whole book in one day.  I don't want to go fast on this one, though.  I want to savor it and think about it and marvel at the effect her spirituality has had on her. 

I mean, spirituality! Spirituality, I'm afraid, has completely eluded me.  Starting when I was about 14 or so, I gradually became very pious (after a childhood of low-grade naughtiness, which included raiding my older brothers' supply of cigars and sharing them with my friend Joanie. I was maybe 10, and she was 8).  I started reading Thomas a Kempis's The Imitation of Christ and going to Mass every day. Then, at the age of 17, instead of going to medical school (which I'd wanted to do even before piety laid me low), I entered the convent. I lasted there for five years until I decided one day, while reading the Summa Theologica, that I did not HAVE to become a nun to save my soul. Whew.

Last night I wanted to see what Elizabeth Gilbert looked like, so I googled her website and found not only her picture, but this video recording of the talk she gave at TED last year. 

Gilbert's spirituality and how it relates to her writing is powerful stuff for me. I meditated and practiced Yoga and went to daily Mass for years, but it all came to a screeching halt when I moved to DC almost 20 years ago.  Don't ask me why.  Now I'm in the Jurassics (the 70s), and I feel as spiritual as my favorite shoes.

Still, this book, and this very young woman (good god, she's only about 40!), fascinate me. Perhaps we really do revert to our childhood when we hit the high numbers.  Is spirituality possible?  It's always bothered me that I don't feel spiritual at all. Oprah harps on spirituality all the time, and I like Oprah--she's given up the fight with her weight.  It's highly recommended for one's personal growth (gack....I can hardly write those words).

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Things to do this week....UPDATE

Ole Phat Stu asked me to prioritize this list--ha.  He must have some punch line in store, so here's the status of the items.  It's not exactly the priority, but it's the order in which they've been accomplished fully, partially--or not. 
 
1. Unsubscribe from bastard Target's mailing list                      1
2. Buy a loaf of Italian rosemary bread from
         farmer's market                                                              2     
3. Cook the two remaining turkey burgers and one NY strip
         steak so they don't spoil                                                  3         
4. Mark up client review checklist to divide chores into 
          Client's&Mentor's and mine                                      ?
5. Clean the top of the stove and the area around the 
          toaster & coffee maker                                             4
6. Get serious about finding my next place to live                       ?
7. Read editor's comments on 2nd draft                                    ?       
8.Download and print BIG copy of Rook photo and
           frame it for my wall. (Spectacular picture.)                      ?
9. Clean off top of desk (easier said than done....
           pile is nearly a foot deep all over).                                   ?
10.Vacuum entire carpet in room.                                              ?          
11. Check on progress of PC repairs over at Geek Squad. 
          (Thank God Mac always works.)                                     5
12. Zzzzzz....boring, huh?

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Thoughts for the day....

(Tonight's post is by AnonymousNFS)
 
We drop to 12th in rate of college grads. We close school in Hawaii on  
Fridays. In California, state workers stay home. In DC, metro  
escalators lie broken and dormant, while people climb down the stairs  
and ride in 30-year-old cars that are no longer safe. Around the  
country, teachers, firefighters, nurses and others worry about keeping  
their jobs.
 
The reason, they tell us, is money. There isn’t enough of it.
 
At the same time, a tiny few of the super rich pledge to give away  
half of their money, at least when they die. Perhaps it is in  
anticipation of this private dole that the Republicans fight to keep  
the Bush tax cuts for the super wealthy?
 
Does no one else think this is nuts?
 
We should not just restore the pre-Bush tax rates; we should restore  
taxes to the rates of the 1960s. We should open our schools, pay our  
cops, help our young people graduate, and stop an insanity that--in a  
land where free once meant equal--borders on criminal.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Streets of DC cluttered with politicians!


Crossing the street by Starbucks, who do you suppose I ran into this afternoon just before the deluge hit?  Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. They were out flacking for the Washington Nationals baseball game.  Who wouldn't want to spend a baseball game talking with these two guys??  Only problem is, the game is in *gack* Arizona today.  Maybe Abe and Teddy are staying away cuz of the immigration flap down there, but they still want to show their support for the Nats!!  Go, Nats!  Beat the crap outta Arizona!!!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Friday Visitor

My dear good friend, AnonymousNFS, graciously zapped by this evening with a letter that she sent to several news organizations:

This exclusive focus on race in the Shirley Sherrod story
exemplifies what we really can't talk about in America--which is
class. Shirley Sherrod said her realization in helping the
individual of another race was that the battle in this country is
between the "haves and have nots." How true. Except that it isn't a
battle. It is a massacre. Recent moves by a cowardly Congress that
can't even require transparency in television advertising, show
that the top 2 percent of America's wealthiest have effectively
destroyed any pretext of equality in this country that once prided
itself on a vibrant, innovative, enterprising middle class.

Well, say goodbye to all that. We can't even cover the Sherrod
story honestly, preferring to wallow again in the pain and self-
righteousness of our twisted heritage of white oppression.

Meanwhile the super rich nod thoughtfully, buy another home or
another wardrobe or two, and allow their kids to pursue again some
courses in graduate education--or party in the local bar--and get
richer.

Or, as they say in that song, "The rich get richer and the poor get children....
Ain't we got fun?" Not much!

Still, today was a gorgeous day, especially in the morning until Mother Nature remembered it was supposed to be HOT and kicked up the thermostat. And Chelsea gets married tomorrow, thanks be. May all go very well with everything.

Prom songs

Which one of these songs do you think would be the last song played on prom night, 1954?   My daughter just put a song on Facebook that recalls to her the "slow, smoochy last song played at the prom."  Well, these are slow--and I'm not sure they're zackly smoochy--but they were popular in 1954, when Shanley High School had its jr-sr. prom.  I like them all, and I remember dancing to them--just not at the prom, per se.  You pick...or if you remember a totally different song, and you're of a certain age, let me know what it was.  (Also, remember that Doris Day's song would have been played on a record--without the costumes...)




Saturday, July 24, 2010

Thoughts on a Saturday Night without Effective Air Conditioning.....

Xtreme English is feeling a bit cranky tonight.  Even though the AC has been on all day, set responsibly at 78, it's around 90 in my room cuz it's so hot outside no AC can keep up with it.  Needless to say, I'm not complaining about the heat per se.  I've said many times that I'd rather be hot than cold any day.  Still true.  If you grew up where I did and in the era I did, you'd know what "cold" means.  Cold is not 40F.  It's -40F.
But I digress.  I'm cranky cuz I'm sweaty and because some loud and pushy residents of this country seem to be set on driving us all off a cliff.

I just read this on Prairie Weather (not exactly weather-related, but prairie weather is especially harsh).

Here's the last paragraph:
Now an angry group of Americans wants to be freer still—free from government agencies that protect their health, wealth, and well-being; free from problems and policies too difficult to understand; free from parties and coalitions; free from experts who think they know better than they do; free from politicians who don’t talk or look like they do (and Barack Obama certainly doesn’t). They want to say what they have to say without fear of contradiction, and then hear someone on television tell them they’re right. They don’t want the rule of the people, though that’s what they say. They want to be people without rules—and, who knows, they may succeed. This is America, where wishes come true. And where no one remembers the adage “Beware what you wish for.”...Excerpts from Mark Lilla, "The Tea Party Jacobins," NYRB
 G'night, y'alls....Remember: "The family that sweats together frets together"--that's not exactly it, but you know....Have a nice evening....

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Just in case the WAPO editors don't read this, here it is again: UPDATE

After seeing the WaPo's first page this a.m. (in the actual, grubby newspaper) and feeling incensed at this print headline--"New front in racism battle: USDA official's words provide fodder to those who call Obama biased"--my dear good friend Anonymous-NFS sent the following letter to the WaPo editors:
"New Front in Racism Battle?' If I hadn't had the misfortune of watching some TV last night, I'd believe your front page story. But I was stuck with TV. And it showed Ms. Sherrod's entire speech which shows the Post--as well as the NAACP and most of America--continue to be snookered by our vitrolic Right wing, which continues to dominate our discourse with lies and hate. You owe your readers an apology.
 So when I went to look for the article in the ONLINE WaPo just now (hours later),  I found the article, all right, but it now has a new headline: "Firing of USDA official Shirley Sherrod now under review"


Don'tcha just grit your teeth over this kind of b.s.?  How long are we going to suffer the slings & arrows of the Right wing?

UPDATE:  This is my comment to Rachel Maddow on Huffington Post this evening:
Rachel, the WaPo is in there pitching along with Fox. This morning they tried to pitch the story as "providing fodder for those who call Obama biased." Now that the whole story has come out, and Vilsack has apologized to Ms. Sherrod and offered her another job with the Dept of Ag., WaPo is saying "how the White House veered off message." Anything to dump on Obama. The whole thing is disgusting. 

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Barney Frank and Ron Paul on Cutting Military Spending??

NPR's OnPointRadio carried this wonderful show with Barney Frank and Ron Paul today. 

My favorite of the comments is from someone named Mark.  He says this:

We liked him. We just wouldn’t listen to him:
“We annually spend on military security more than the net income of all United States corporations.
This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence — economic, political, even spiritual — is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.
In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military/industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.”
-Pres. Eisenhower, 1961.

Thanks, NPR, Barney, Ron, and Mark.  (Ike, too, if you're listening.....)

Monday, July 05, 2010

Pardon my French.....

I just read Paul Krugman's 4th of July column about the blankety-blank Senate going home for an undeserved, uncalled-for vacation over July 4 without extending unemployment benefits to our friends, relatives, and neighbors who have been unemployed for months in this *@!! idiot-generated Depression. 

I'm trying to think of how I can express my OUTRAGE over these motherblankers and still have this post pass muster with the language nannies.  As Krugman says, the members of the Senate have flown home (at our expense, natch--or maybe, fearing criticism for throwing our money around, they've presciently paid for it themselves this time out of their supergenerous salaries--but these also are at our expense) to go glad-handing at 4th of July picnics and parades among their constituents--many of whom seem as clueless and heartness and lost in space as their elected representatives.

Nobody, including our beloved administration, seems to have the cojones (alert--foreign language, possibly illegal alien vocabulary) to stand up and do the correct, compassionate, SENSIBLE thing and EXTEND THE UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS INDEFINITELY UNTIL THE CONGRESS CAN GET THEIR CRIPE TOGETHER AND CREATE JOBS THAT WILL SUPPORT FAMILIES AND GET US ALL BACK ON OUR FEET AGAIN!!!!  Can't we start making sneakers and t-shirts and bicycles HERE IN THE USA again?  Don't we have any empty factory buildings (or whole cities--Detroit??) waiting? Can't we trash-can that stupid war and put Blackwater and Cheney's little fiefdom, Halliburton, OUT OF THE BUSINESS OF SUCKING AWAY OUR NATIONAL TREASURE????

Alas, I fear the blanket-blank, good-for-nothing, pigs-at-the-trough who call themselves U.S. Senators, Republican or Democrat, will do nothing. What more can we expect?  As I said, please pardon my French.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sleeping Bees!

Found this wonderful blog --homeofthebudds--on my travels this a.m.  The post is "do bees sleep?"  Check out the amazing pictures.  One of the local blog readers said the bees are not asleep, they're drunk.  I dunno anything at all about bees sleeping out of the hive at night, but I really love this.  The local blogger who posted this on our town website said she finds sleeping bees in her flowers every morning!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Cities and states can't control handguns??

The SCOTUS live in wonderland, protected on all sides everywhere.  Let them move to a rough DC (and now, Chicago) neighborhood and ride the bus to work without their chauffeurs and bodyguards and retainers. Let 'em get held up at gunpoint a few times as they walk to the corner grocery. Let 'em wake up! If they're so concerned about the Constitution, how about working on separation of church and state?  


I pray that none of the poor suckers who think owning a handgun will protect themselves or their loved ones never shoot a loved one--or themselves--by accident.  The only reason to buy or own a gun like that is to kill someone.  I doubt if you're that nervous. I doubt if you really want to kill someone, so don't get a handgun.  Don't allow one in your house.  Don't hang around with people who need a handgun to feel brave.