Happy New Year!

Here's to the people with fresh ideas....who will it be in 2011??

Boxing Day....

Under the inspiration of the NYT's essay in yesterday's Sunday Magazine, XE honors Mary Daly, who thought and lived way beyond the confines of the box.

Merry Christmas!!

Winter Solstice Lunar Eclipse

This gem arrived today from http://www.openculture.com/, whom I thank for the new-fangled imbed code, which will work on an iPhone. The last time the world experienced a total lunar eclipse, it was the year 1638  (some say 1544).  In other words, we won't be around when it happens again.


Winter Solstice Lunar Eclipse from William Castleman on Vimeo

Soul Searching on the Solstice....

Hi, Santa....Snowed in again?  That's ok....I found something interesting to read in Newsweek--the "Interview Edition" was in the newsstand, so I bought a copy to read on the way home.  It has this wonderful exchange in Jessica Bennett's interview with Dan Savage and Jane Lynch:

Q: How long until there's an openly gay president or Supreme Court justice?

SAVAGE: Scalia isn't gay?!? I always think the biggest homophobe in the room is clearly a c--ksucker!
LYNCH: Totally! The next religious person who tells you there's something wrong with being a homosexual, start the countdown. It's psychology 101--the people who are the loudest and hate it the most hate something in themselves.

I know, I know. I hate Republicans. I have to search my soul for traces of serfs & goose-steppers.*

* see "Tips from Xtreme English" in the RH column....

Sherwood Harrington's Pummelvision!!

Oboyoboyoboy!!!  Sherwood Harrington, who blogs at SherWords, is a grandfather, a community college professor of astronomy in the South Bay area of San Francisco, a nature (dogs, cats, chickens, butterflies, flowers, woods & castles) lover, and a descendant of the man who invented the flush toilet. He has created a Pummelvision of his photos, and it's everything you'd imagine from such a lively mind.  Have fun!!



Now you do your own!  Check it out at http://pummelvision.com

Go!

Whee! and Yippee!!!! Ding Dong, DADT Is Dead!

And XE has found two librul elite blogs with the funniest comments on John McCain's reaction.  A few samples:

First,  Pam's House Blend...Always Steamin':

"Q of the day: What do you think Sen. John McCain is doing to "celebrate" tonight?"

Having...

....a crying session with Boehner?

The sweet and poetic irony?

Cindy and Meghan are celebrating with high fives in HIS living room tonight!

 

 and, of all places that I haven't read for a while, Wonkette!!

 Permission to serve fabulously, Sir.
... Permission granted.

Can we haz atheists in the foxhole now too? 

Claude Covo's Pummelvision!!

Claude, who blogs as Photoblogging in Paris, takes spectacular photos, and she's created a fabulous Pummelvision:



You do one, too!!!

I Don't Know What This Is, But.....

TEXTING ABBREVIATIONS FOR SENIORS

THANKS TO DARLENE FOR THESE.....

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

ROFLACGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing And Can't Get Up

DWI: Driving While Incontinent

LOL: Living On Lipitor

OMG: Oy, My Grandchildren!

IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

WTF: What's Today's Fish?

RULKM: Are You Leaving Kids Money?

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

GTG: Got to Groan

TGIF: Thank Goodness It's Four (Four O'Clock Early Bird Special)

FWB: Friend With Betablockers

FYI: For Your Indigestion

JK: Just Kvetching

TTYL: Talk To You Louder

MILF: Meal I'd Like To Forget

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

LWO: Lawrence Welk's On

MGAD: My Grandson's A Doctor

SUS: Speak Up, Sonny

WIWYA: When I Was Your Age

GOML: Get Off My Lawn

Doggone Wind!!!

Eating the Christmas Tree

Well, no....Nobody should eat their Christmas tree--unless it's one of those cute cookies or (please Santa) at least 60% dark chocolate!  My post today IS partly about eating lots of veggies and fruits every day.  Major disclaimer: I could lie and say I do that--eat lots of veggies and fruits daily--but I don't.  I'm an unreconstructed carnivore and lover of junk food, especially popcorn, which some say is one of the junkiest and, horror of horrors--microwaved baked potatoes! I also drink hot chocolate, tea, wine, gin, vodka, Irish whiskey, and Grand Marnier, though not all at same time--I do have my rules.

Be that as it may, one of the blogs I love is Robyn's Blog.  Robyn's Green Smoothie Girl website, of which her blog is only part, is another great resource. And these marvelous video clips arrived today in Robyn's free e-mail newsletter (available to those who visit her website and sign up). As I said, I am nowhere near as disciplined as Robyn, though I can be--in spurts.  But Robyn's talk about how her grandmother beat stage 3 cancer reminds me of my dear friend Mary.

[Note to friends, this is not "Mary from Iowa." This is "Mary from Indiana," whom I also met at Gallaudet when I worked there.]

Mary is deaf, a fluent communicator in both ASL and English, and one of the most talented painters--and now writers--I know. I met her first when I signed up for her class in oil painting, and now we ride bikes together when she has time in her busy life as a tutor and graduate student at the Big Famous Jesuit University here.  A number of years ago, Mary learned she had cancer, and without any health insurance (tutors at the Big Famous Deaf University here do not get benefits, despite the fact that many of the students who enroll there need help from the tutoring center to pass the requisite basic English class, produce written assignments, etc.), she started looking for other ways to heal herself that did not involve Western medicine and its surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and the whole expensive lot.

Always a serious, interested student of life, she started reading and talking with alternative healers here. She began her healing journey by changing her own diet.  Basically, she daily consumes plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables that she juices herself, eats gorgeously inventive salads with more of the same, and stays away from not only meat & dairy but also cooked foods, caffeine, and alcohol entirely.  And she is now free of cancer.

According to Robyn's interview (both parts here), Robyn's grandmother beat stage 3 cancer, too.  So here's a holiday present for my dear readers.  (If you know me well, you'll know I'm chuckling here.  If anyone dances on the razor's edge nutritionally, it's me.)  But, as my dear departed father-in-law, Murray, used to say, "If you done it, it ain't bragging"--a quote, btw, from Walt Whitman.
Robyn's grandma and my friend Mary from Indiana have done it, too--and it's up to Robyn and me to brag about them: 

Part 1: Food is Medicine


Part 2: Getting Started

From the Fine Print....Comments on WikiLeaks and Assange

[XE says: These comments come from an astute reader who is also one of the bright lights at DemocracyforCalifornia. They are too good to let sit on the shelves. All emphasis is mine.]

The first is about Wikileaks and also about Assange's so-called "rape" charge.  The second is on an article in the Guardian.  Both were sent in reply to other comments on "Best Reads on Wikileaks"

#1:  I appreciate your concerns about the future of diplomacy, but I don't think any particular harm, other than embarrassment, is being done with the publication of these cables. Diplomats will continue to do their work with the U.S., not because they like us, but because it is in the best interest of their country to do so. They might not be able to use digital pipelines of communication, as they have, but I for one think there is some poetic justice in that. If nations operate with an old-century mindset, then they can go back to using old-century tools. The Internet is for freedom of information. It belongs to all citizens of the world.

As far as the "rape" charges against Julian Assange. Keep in mind, there have been no charges. In fact, I read somewhere that the reason for this is that there are no actual laws on the books in Sweden concerning "not using a condom," but that they had intended to write some laws. Perhaps that explains why Swedish prosecutors have been going back and forth on the issue. Basically, he's been called in for "questioning" since they don't actually have a law to charge him with. But there are concerns that Sweden (which is known to have worked with the CIA on extraordinary renditions) could extradite Julian to the U.S., and that would be very bad for him. I guess we'll know tomorrow (Tuesday) if Great Britain will extradite him to Sweden for "questioning."

I would not venture an opinion about the two women who made these charges. I don't know how legitimate they are. It's possible, Julian has a weakness with women, perhaps he's been a geek too long, and is easily seduced? Or perhaps the charges are bogus? I don't know, I don't think anybody else does at this point. But isn't the timing a tad too coincidental?

Regardless, whatever Assange did or did not do, it does not alter my opinion of the importance of wikileaks.

#2:  An interesting article from the Guardian...

WikiLeaks may make the powerful howl, but we are learning the truth

WikiLeaks has offered us glimpses of how the world works. And in most cases nothing but good can come of it

Here's a snippet:

The world has changed, not simply because governments find they are just as vulnerable to the acquisition, copying and distribution of huge amounts of data as the music, publishing and film businesses were, but because we are unlikely to return to the happy ignorance of the past. Knowing Saudi Arabia has urged the bombing of Iran, that Shell maintains an iron grip on the government of Nigeria, that Pfizer hired investigators to disrupt investigations into drugs trials on children, also in Nigeria, that the Pakistan intelligence service, the ISI, is swinging both ways on the Taliban, that China launched a cyber attack on Google, that North Korean has provided nuclear scientists to Burma, that Russia is a virtual mafia state in which security services and gangsters are joined at the hip – and knowing all this in some detail – means we are far more likely to treat the accounts of events we are given in the future with much greater scepticism.

Never mind the self-serving politicians who waffle on about the need for diplomatic confidentiality when they themselves order the bugging of diplomats and hacking of diplomatic communications. What is astonishing is the number of journalists out there who argue that it is better not to know these things, that the world is safer if the public is kept in ignorance. In their swooning infatuation with practically any power elite that comes to hand, some writers for the Murdoch press and Telegraph titles argue in essence for the Chinese or Russian models of deceit and obscurantism. They advocate the continued infantilising of the public.

Why I Do Not Live in Minnesota....

I repeat this post about every year, and since Minneapolis got 20" of snow over the weekend, and the heavy snow tore a hole in the dome of the football/baseball stadium, I think we're back to snow time.

Diary Of A Snow Shoveler

December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled snow for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of damn snow last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white sh*t fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. I know the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that goddamn snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to smack her big ass with the shovel.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE B***H is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

-Author Unknown

12 Shopping Days Til Christmas (including Christmas Day itself)

OK, shoppers.....get out there and blow it all!  Especially with THIS!!!

Want something totally yummy and handmade that's not made overseas? Check out the St. Croix Chocolate Company. (Owner & presiding genius is Robyn Dochterman, a high-school classmate of my kids).  Marine-on-the-St. Croix (river) is in Minnesota, right by the big state park where some friends and I went winter camping one year. Gorgeous!!

It's Sunday Night! Time for fun!

Sally just said, "I am soooo OVER Christmas!"  Me, too.  I still like Charlie Brown's Christmas dance, though....

Snoozeville Speaks! "Aux barricades!!!"

Got this email today from an indignant fellow resident, who shall remain anonymous, of Snoozeville:

Dear friends and neighbors,

I recently received a letter from one of the benevolent  institutions to whom we entrust our health and well being, known (in some circles) as CareLast Blue(No)Choice. This letter informed me, in the spirit of holiday cheer, that my health insurance premium, as of 1/1/11, would be "changed." It would now be 25% higher. The letter did assure me that the company seeks to provide coverage “at the lowest possible cost and with the least profit margin.” That made me feel much better!

I called up and was informed that everyone’s premium would be “changed” by the same percentage. When I asked the employee why the huge increase, she mumbled a list of items whose costs had risen. And she said she sympathized with me, since they’d raised her premium too! 

Since I happen to suffer from a pre-existing condition known as chronic mistrust of large corporations, I couldn't help doing a big of digging. I learned that Carefirst Blue Choice is owned by WellPoint, whose CEO’s 2009 salary was over $13 million dollars! The company’s net income (profit) last year was $4.75 billion, nearly double its ’08 net income of $2.5 billion (the CEO's salary was also double the '08 figure). (WellPoint annual report  http://media.corporate-ir.net/media_files/irol/13/130104/wellpoint2009/index.html. CEO salary info from http://www.fiercehealthcare.com.

In some states, like California, they’ve raised rates by 39% or more. "Oh, but those costs," the company complains. Must be due to that onerous 1.17 percent inflation rate. (Of course, when it comes to Social Security, inflation is deemed so low there’s no need to give cost-of-living increases….)

Are you willing to pay 25% more so this company and its directors can rake in these huge amounts? (I, personally, cannot even afford my current rate...) If not, let’s do something about it! Please reply if interested in discussing what to do. And if you are already involved in fighting this, or know people who are, please give that info. CareLast Blue(No)Choice “serves” Maryland, DC, Northern VA and Delaware, so there are a lot of us!

At the very least, anybody who gets these rate hikes should be asking their public officials and the commission or whatever it is that approves rate hikes (I couldn't find it) what they plan to do about this....

Taking action is healthy!

Cheers!

Emphasis mine, all mine.

You can watch the Edinburgh Zoo Penguin Webcam.....

...But there's no night vision capability (and it looks like it's POURING RAIN right now, no surprise if it's stopped snowing).



No matter, here's a link to the video of the penguin chicks weigh-in from this past spring...

I found this delightful stuff on Belgian Waffle ("Death, Despair and Biscuits"), one of my favorite blogs.  The blogger calls herself "Ex-Eurodrone, unfit mother, slattern."  My kind of people, clearly.  She's incredibly witty and an ace writer.  She also has a link to the actual, not just the promo, Penguin Webcam, which I can't figure out how to install here.  If I weren't so old, I'd say I hope to grow up to be as good as she is.

Anyway, watching penguins stuck in a zoo in Scotland sure as hell beats watching American TV.  For one thing, there's NO NEWS!! and NO PUNDITS!!  There IS the Head Keeper of the Penguins, Roslin Talbot, who explains in her lovely soft Scottish voice what we're seeing.  Very restful.

Then there's FireDogLake and Jane Hamsher....

Here's what Jane Hamsher thinks of the political maneuvering and posturing going on over the Bush tax cuts (let expire?? keep??) and the pending loss soon of unemployment insurance for millions of U.S. citizens.



You tell 'em, Jane!!

Attention: 42 Republican Senators and those who elected them.....

My grandnephew Steve says,

If I showed up to work and said that I have no intention of doing anything for the next 2 months and would prevent everyone else from doing anything as well, then I would be fired in a heartbeat. Why should senators be treated differently?

More good reads on Wikileaks

DemocracyforCalifornia hits another home run.   The post "Cablegate and the Little Website that Roared" is another treasure trove for people looking for information you can trust. 

 If you have time for just one of DfC's resources, check this out:

An invaluable resource: http://wlcentral.org/ 

Best reads on Wikileaks

Don't know what to think of the Wikileaks bombshell? Try these essays.  Thanks to today's Hullabaloo by Digby for putting us on their trail.

1.  This essay is by Glenn Greenwald in Salon, and it makes the most sense of anything I've read.

2.  This essay is by Julian Assange, and it explains his philosophy--why he's doing this. Before we accuse him of anything sinister, we owe it to ourselves to find out just what he intends.

Hope...and resistance

Today's Truthout arrived with Real Hope Is About Doing Something, by Chris Hedges. It's long and thoughtful. I especially liked the last paragraphs:

Hope is not for the practical and the sophisticated, the cynics and the complacent, the defeated and the fearful. Hope is what the corporate state, which saturates our airwaves with lies, seeks to obliterate. Hope is what our corporate overlords are determined to crush. Be afraid, they tell us. Surrender your liberties to us so we can make the world safe from terror. Don’t resist. Embrace the alienation of our cheerful conformity. Buy our products. Without them you are worthless. Become our brands. Do not look up from your electronic hallucinations to think. No. Above all do not think. Obey.

W.H. Auden wrote:

Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
Who have never been happy or good.

The powerful do not understand hope. Hope is not part of their vocabulary. They speak in the cold, dead words of national security, global markets, electoral strategy, staying on message, image and money. The powerful protect their own. They divide the world into the damned and the blessed, the patriots and the enemy, the rich and the poor. They insist that extinguishing lives in foreign wars or in our prison complexes is a form of human progress. They cannot see that the suffering of a child in Gaza or a child in the blighted pockets of Washington, D.C., diminishes and impoverishes us all. They are deaf, dumb and blind to hope. Those addicted to power, blinded by self-exaltation, cannot decipher the words of hope any more than most of us can decipher hieroglyphics. Hope to Wall Street bankers and politicians, to the masters of war and commerce, is not practical. It is gibberish. It means nothing.

I cannot promise you fine weather or an easy time. I cannot assure you that thousands will converge on Lafayette Park in solidarity. I cannot pretend that being handcuffed is pleasant. I cannot say that anyone in Congress or the White House, anyone in the boardrooms of the corporations that cannibalize our nation, will be moved by pity to act for the common good. I cannot tell you these wars will end or the hungry will be fed. I cannot say that justice will roll down like a mighty wave and restore our nation to sanity. But I can say this: If we resist and carry out acts, no matter how small, of open defiance, hope will not be extinguished. If all we accomplish is to assure a grieving mother in Baghdad or Afghanistan, a young man or woman crippled physically and emotionally by the hammer blows of war, that he or she is not alone, our resistance will be successful. Hope cannot be sustained if it cannot be seen.

Any act of rebellion, any physical defiance of those who make war, of those who perpetuate corporate greed and are responsible for state crimes, anything that seeks to draw the good to the good, nourishes our souls and holds out the possibility that we can touch and transform the souls of others. Hope affirms that which we must affirm. And every act that imparts hope is a victory in itself.

Also from Auden:

Defenseless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages:
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.

P.S. I especially liked "Do not look up from your electronic hallucinations to think." What was he talking about, do you suppose???

President Announces Pay Freeze for "Most" Federal Workers?

And a Happy Thanksgiving/Merry Christmas/Happy New Year/Happy Valentine's Day/Happy Mothers and Fathers Day/Happy Independence Day/Happy Columbus Day/Happy Birthday to you, too, Mr. President! You saved us from the distasteful task of electing McCain and She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named--but we got a new manifestation of Scrooge all the same. You promptly announced there will be no COLA for Social Security recipients (code: old and disabled) for two years, and now you're telling us there will be no pay raise this year for federal workers (code: anyone left with a job). The disastrous Republican tax rates and tax cuts will remain the same, however--unless one of your pet financial geniuses (code: holdovers from W) can find a way to shovel even more $$ to the very rich.

Also, please don't send me emails thanking me for my hard work and financial sacrifices in getting you elected. It's too tempting for me to say you're not welcome.

You pour your heart and our treasure (I'm thinking more of our young men and women, but also our dollars) into keeping the diabolical wars going. I see you even made phone calls to soldiers, wishing them a Happy Thanksgiving. Nice. Beats W's theatrical turkey dinner visit to Iraq. It seems to me to be about the same thing, though.

Why not bring our military home alive and call off our wars? And please try not to fan the flames in Korea, North and South. Cancel the war games and pretend missile practice at sea. Why not get us OUT of Afghanistan, OUT of Iraq, and OUT of the business of stealing from the poor and giving to the rich that has taken over this country.

That would be a change, don't you think?

It's That Time of Year Again!!

Tell that to the people in Seattle. Look at all the pedestrians out there!! Hope nobody got hurt!

Happy Thanksgiving 3

Don't miss Margaret & Helen's "Thanksgiving Letter to the Family"

Too funny. I have to say, however, that I don't share Helen's antipathy to jello.

Happy Thanksgiving 2

Digby has a wonderful, moving Thanksgiving post today from reader James Armstrong.

The original American Thanksgivings were religious ceremonies most likely derived from old-world harvest festivals, as the Pilgrims gave thanks to their god for the abundance of food in the new world.

The harvest festival is a good festival, it celebrates man's ability to provide for itself. So, a modern atheist/socialist can still celebrate a modern Thanksgiving. In that, I give thanks to:

I give thanks to the many workers, both documented and undocumented, who harvest the fields that provide us our food from farms, that keep us from starvation.

I give thanks to those farmers who dedicate themselves to sustainable farming techniques, so this bounty will not just be mine, but will be there for generations in the future.

I give thanks to people like Norman Borlaug, who won the 1970 Peace Prize for advances in wheat harvests, and scientists like him, who have helped make it easier to feed the world.

I give thanks to those who transport the food--the loaders, truckers, train engineers and signalmen, and others--responsible for getting fresh meat and produce to outlets throughout the world.

I also give thanks to those who are dedicated to the locavore movement, where freshness is not dependent on anything but time and speed to market, and where you know the plans (sic) are freshly picked.

I give thanks to those merchants who accept the deliveries and who provide us the opportunity to buy from the cornupoia of the American harvest.

I thank those few thankless food inspectors--too few and overworked--who are straining to keep the food supply as safe as they can.

And, finally, I give thanks to those who prepare and serve the meals we eat. If it is my own cooking, I thank those who came before and taught me how to cook, and who derived the recipes I use. When others cook, I thank them for the work they do for me.

It is for these workers, scholars, and ordinary people to whom I am thankful on this day of Thanksgiving, 25 November, 2010.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Today is Thanksgiving Day here in the USA. Many people gather with their families for a big dinner (most often turkey), many others are alone by choice or circumstance. However it happens for you, do yourself and others a favor and be happy.

The following The 9 Timeless Secrets of Being Happy arrived in my email this morning from the author, Brian Vaszily. Some of these are easier to do than others, but they're goals, not permanent states. We can always be more flexible, truer, more detached and forgiving, kinder, more caring of ourselves and our relationships, more thankful for what we have, and more vigorous in doing what inspires us.

1) Embrace New Experiences.
Most people suffer from merely existing versus really living. Don’t get caught in a rut; get out of it if you are. Explore. Play. Go beyond your comfort zone. Don’t lean on the excuse “I don’t have time to try new things.” It is as tragic and ridiculous as saying “I don’t have time to breathe.” New experiences are life. Live deeply.

2) Be Who You Are.
Recognize and clear through what others expect of you, including society’s expectations, your parents’ expectations, the opposite genders’ expectations, and anyone’s expectations. Recognize and clear through the guilt, anger, fear and other emotions that are sabotaging you. What are your dreams? Your goals? Your loves? Who are you? Be that person.

3) Let Go of the Past.
The past is good for two things: the happy memories, and the lessons it provides. Clinging to resentment and sadness for past events hurts one person the most: you. Don’t let the past suck the gift of the present out of you. Forgive. Let go. Be here now, and go forward.

4) Be Kind.
It is easy to act kindly to those who have been kind to you. Do so, but also remember that is not where kindness is needed most. Recall those many times where you made mistakes, where you reacted out of negative emotions instead of responding from who you really are. Recall how you felt, or how you would have felt, if others responded to your mistakes with kindness instead of harsh criticism or a cold shoulder. Negativity only breeds more negativity. Empathize, and choose to be kind. It spreads rapidly.

5) Be Responsible for Yourself.
Whatever happens, however promising or tragic, only one person is responsible for how you respond to it: you. There are no greater wastes of energy and potential than blame, envy, a desire for revenge, and wallowing in self-pity. You and only you are responsible for how you respond to anything and how you act. You wish others were a certain way? You wish the world were a certain way? Be the example.

6) Nurture Relationships.
Think of your most joyful moments. Think of all you have learned. Think of what has helped you grow. Chances are great these all involve other people, and other relations such as pets and nature too. There are over six billion people on this earth. There are infinite relationships to be had. Everyone has something to understand and to learn from. There is infinite love to be had, and to give. You can choose to be lonely, but you are never alone.

7) Recognize All You Have, and Be Grateful for It.
If you are alive, you are fortunate. If you can read this, you are fortunate. If you can walk, talk, see, smell, taste, or feel, or all of these, you are fortunate. You are what you focus on, so if you focus on what you lack, you become that lack. Focus on all that you do have, on the gifts inside and all around you. Be grateful to be great.

8) Do What Inspires You.
Painting, singing, writing, biking, swimming, gardening, reading, dancing, walking, woodcarving … what is your flame? What ignites you, inspires you, enlightens you, restores your life? Do it, and do it often. Do not believe your excuse of having too much work to do and too little time for what inspires you. Doing what inspires you is the very fuel that will give you the strength and motivation to do the other things you need to do, and do them well.

9) Remember that Happiness is a State, Not a Circumstance
Happiness is a state of being, not merely a moment of pleasure or joy. By committing to your happiness you acknowledge and accept that there will be times of challenge and suffering, but by staying true to who you are you will not just endure but thrive. Happiness is not just the bird floating serenely on the water, and happiness is not made unhappy by the rock that falls and temporarily disturbs the water. Happiness is the water itself, always being exactly what it is.

Lots of love to all of you....M.E.

Get out your crayons.....

This caught my eye on Hullabaloo this morning:

It appears that the NY Times made a major error which, so far, it's refusing to correct. I understand that the ombudsman may take it up if enough people draw it to his attention. This one's important. If you have a chance to read the article I linked and send a quick, polite note to the Ombudsman at public@nytimes.com it could make a difference. It's bad enough that people are relying on projections 75 years into the future to destroy the New Deal, but the least they could do is correct numbers that are clearly incorrect today. Social Security is not going broke in 2015.

You don't have to be paranoid to know they ARE out to get us....

The Book on Bush....

Have a thought to buying or reading W's new "memoir"/collective writing project, Decision Points? It perches on top of Amazon's best-seller list today, but a better book about Bush and his family is Family of Secrets, by Russ Baker. Subtitled, "The Bush Dynasty, America's Invisible Government, and the Hidden History of the Past 50 Years," Baker's book is full of eye-openers.

Before I say anything else, I wish to say regarding George W. Bush--and even more his family--that we, the American people, do need eye-openers and not the kind that come in glasses or with ice cubes. Sad to say, we are not going to get this from either Bush's new book OR the American media, and I leave it to your imagination--if it hasn't already been blown by the events of the past 10 years--to tell you why.

Here's a hint. In Chapter I, "How Did Bush Happen?" of Family of Secrets, author Russ Baker begins,

This is the story of a family we thought we knew--and a country we have barely begun to comprehend.
George Bush, father and son, are vastly more complicated, and their doings are vastly more troubling, than the conventional wisdom would have it. This book reveals the story behind their story, documenting the secrets that the House of Bush has long sought to obscure.
These revelations about the Bushes lead in turn to an even more disturbing truth about the country itself. It's not just that such a clan could occupy the presidency or vice presidency for twenty of the past twenty-eight years and remain essentially unknown. It's that the methods of stealth and manipulation that powered their rise reflect a deeper ill: the American public's increasingly tenuous hold upon the levers of its own democracy.

Intrigued? By all means, buy or borrow Family of Secrets and prepare to lose yourself in its almost 600 pages of substantiated revelations that at the very least clearly illuminate the transfer of America's vast wealth to the very few.

Role Model for Snoozeville

The exemplary blog, DemocracyforCalifornia, has been posting what looks to be a thorough rundown of the California state and local elections this year. I don't know enough about the politics of that huge state, but the way DfC has broken it down makes me yearn for something like this here in Maryland.

It's business as usual here in Snoozeville right now...Our outgoing county executive was arrested with his wife, whom we just elected to the county board of supervisors, as they tried to get out of their house with a bunch of payola from developers. The wife, when taken into custody, had nearly $80,000 in US currency stuffed in her bra. (Her name on the ballot was "Jane Doe"(D)--should have been (DD)!) She earlier had been recorded on tape while flushing a check for another $100,000 down the toilet. (Dang! Why don't these developers give these bribes right to the voters instead of to crooks??!!!)

My point is that we don't have anything we can rely on when we're preparing to vote in our local elections. Our yards are full of signs foisted on us by door-to-door campaigners, and we get reams of flyers every time we leave the house, but they don't tell us much. They don't tell us who is in whose pocket. The newspapers aren't going to tell us this.

Great job, DemocracyforCalifornia. You're a shining example of democracy in action.

TGIF, almost....

Peggy and Sally both posted this on FaceBook this past week. It's a new one to me, but this one has captions so you can sing along!! Love the lyrics, love the bouncy melody. And what the hey....it's not quite Friday yet, but it will be soon where Peggy is. Thank God!

Go Away, Shrub

Will we ever be rid of this American virus? Is there any limit to the damage this one family plus the CIA can do to our country? William Rivers Pitt in Truthout says it all.

George W. Bush was all over my television this past week, all over the newspapers, and the feelings inspired by his sudden reappearance are almost beyond my capacity to describe. There was the story about his hearty approval of waterboarding. There was the story that had him contemplating dropping Dick Cheney from the administration. There was the story that had him describing himself as a "dissenter" on the Iraq invasion. He did interviews, and excerpts of his new book dribbled out, and it was all too much to endure.

This is the guy, I thought to myself when I saw his face or heard his voice. This is the guy.

This is the guy who took a massive Clinton administration budget surplus and gave it away to his friends at the top of the tax bracket, a move that laid the groundwork for our current economic calamity.

This is the guy who breezed past a pointed warning about Osama bin Laden, terrorism and airplanes on August 6, 2001, because he was on vacation and couldn't be bothered.

This is the guy who parlayed that massive failure into a constant goad of fear to be wielded with impunity against the people he purported to lead. Plastic sheeting and duct tape, anthrax under your pillow, and of course, weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

This is the guy who, not even a month after the Towers came down, looked into a television camera and said, "We need to counter the shockwave of the evildoer by having individual rate cuts accelerated and by thinking about tax rebates."

Oh yes, this is the guy who stood before the American people in January of 2003 and proclaimed that Iraq was in possession of 26,000 liters of anthrax, 38,000 liters of botulinum toxin, 500 tons of sarin, mustard and VX gas, mobile biological weapons labs, uranium from Niger for use in a "robust" nuclear weapons programs, and that Iraq enjoyed connections to al Qaeda that led directly to the attacks of September 11.

This was the guy who presided over the outing of a deep-cover CIA agent after her husband had the temerity to call him a liar in the public prints. That agent was running a network for the purpose of thwarting any person or group that might try to deliver weapons of mass destruction to terrorists.

This is the guy who strutted like a bantam rooster under a banner reading "Mission Accomplished," bragging about the end of a war that was to grind on for seven more years, and grinds on even to this day, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

This is the guy who said "Bring it on" and put a target on the backs of tens of thousands of US troops. This is the guy who is personally responsible for the death and injury of hundreds of thousands of innocent human beings. The body count from his administration is breathtaking in size and scope.

This is the guy who allowed the intelligence services of this nation to violate the Constitutional rights of its citizens in a way never seen before.

This is the guy who turned the entire world against America after that same world embraced us so completely after September 11. World leaders could not stand to be in the same room with him, and openly mocked him, thus humiliating us all.

This is the guy who literally fiddled while Hurricane Katrina devoured the city of New Orleans.

This guy actually said he considered dropping Cheney from the administration? It would be comic if it were not so pointedly fraudulent. Cheney ran the government, ran roughshod over every right he found meddlesome, and Bush sat by and let him do it with that same simpering smirk on his face.

This is the guy who set stem cell research back more than a decade because of his overarching fealty to "snowflake babies" over living, breathing, suffering people.

This is the guy who unleashed all the horrors of the torture chamber because the lawyers said it was OK. If the president does it, it's not illegal, right? Nixon came up with that line, but this is the guy who took it farther than it has ever been taken before.

This is the guy, and now he's back on my television again, and it makes me want to eat my own teeth. I endured him for eight long, brutal years, and have often thought since that no matter how bad things get - and they have, indeed, gotten pretty damned bad - I don't have to endure his face or his voice or his abject serial failures anymore.

But now he's back, and it is like returning to a nightmare.

I don't know what this George W. Bush Reputation Rehabilitation Tour will actually accomplish in the end. The same 20% of the country that kept his approval ratings from slipping into single digits - said group now being known as the "Tea Party" - will go out and buy his book. They will lap up his mealy-mouthed pabulum like cats into the cream, and some of our "mainstream" commentators will try to shoehorn the idea that he is missed into the national conversation.

He is not. George W. Bush was, and likely will forever be, the single worst American president in the nation's history. To outstrip his remarkable record of failure, criminality and disgrace, a future president will have to personally cause the Earth to crash into the sun.

All I can do for now is avoid the TV, stay away from the newspapers, and pray to God on High that this small fraction of a man will soon retreat back into the ignominy from which he has emerged. There is no salvaging him, and thanks to him, there may be no salvaging America in his aftermath.

We are all children of this bastard fool now. The least he can do is stay in the shadows where he belongs, while we toil and sweat to repair what he wrought.

Late night around the web

Early Sunday morning....these three items caught my interest. Frank Rich lays out just what's specious about the arguments for not letting the Bush Tax Cuts expire on time. FireDogLake has an amusing (?) counterproposal to making the rich richer. Helen Philpott lets fly against Republican obstructionism. For the life of me, I don't see WHY the very few superrich need any more money, especially when it will come at the expense of the rest of the country. And I don't see why the Republicans have taken on themselves such an ugly mantra: doing everything they can to ruin Barack Obama's presidency. I like to believe that ugliness does not win in the end.

Frank Rich, NYT:
on the Bush Tax Cuts....

The G.O.P.’s arguments for extending the Bush tax cuts to this crowd, usually wrapped in laughably hypocritical whining about “class warfare,” are easily batted down. The most constant refrain is that small-business owners who file in this bracket would be hit so hard they could no longer hire new employees. But the Tax Policy Center found in 2008, when checking out similar campaign claims by “Joe the Plumber,” that only 2 percent of all Americans reporting small-business income, regardless of tax bracket, would see tax increases if Obama fulfilled his pledge to let the Bush tax cuts lapse for the top earners. The economist Dean Baker calculated that the yearly tax increase at the lower end of that bracket, for those with earnings between $200,000 and $500,000, would amount to $700 — which “isn’t enough to hire anyone.”

Jon Walker, FireDogLake:
$1,000 to everybody....

I have a counter-proposal to the Republican demand that we must temporarily extend all the Bush tax cuts. They want to include tax cuts for those making over one million dollars a year, for the next two years, despite the fact that it will add hundreds of billions to the deficit. I suggest President Obama demand that instead of using the money to extend tax cuts for the rich, that it be used to mail every taxpayer a $1,000 check.

Helen Philpott: Margaret and Helen
on bringing the country together...

For there to be common ground, both sides have to be looking for it. Kind of hard when the new Republican leader John Boehner has declared that Republicans will not compromise. Funny. They’ve been compromising on their principles about smaller government for years. Why change now when compromise is exactly what we need?

Sometimes I just scratch my head and wonder how much better life would be if Americans still had to turn a page in a newspaper rather than flip a channel on the boob tube to get the news. But such is life. You live and you learn. And at my age you learn too much. For instance, I have learned that when Democrats over-reach, we end up providing health insurance coverage for children who have pre-existing conditions. When Republicans over-reach, we go to war.

When a liberal activist judge over-reaches, a disenfranchised group of Americans have their constitutional rights restored. When a conservative activist judge over-reaches, the country’s elections get handed to corporations on a silver platter.

Sour grapes? Maybe. I never said I was without prejudice. In fact, I have openly admitted to being a bitch. But the difference between my being a bitch and Sarah Palin being a bitch is huge. When I am a bitch, a few people get a good laugh over an old lady’s blog writing. When Sarah Palin is a bitch, some of God’s most beautiful handiwork gets reduced to a line item on Exxon’s annual report.

I have lived all my life speaking my mind. And I don’t intend to stop now. You want to know what I really think? I think Fox News has no problem telling lies. And I think a whole lot of white people don’t like having a black President. And I think gay people scare straight people. And religious people forget the basic teachings handed down by the founders of their religion. At the crossroads of every major religion, you’ll find the Golden Rule. Too bad they’ve deleted it from their GPS.

Do you really expect me to believe that a bunch of Republicans were swept into office because Democrats covered pre-existing conditions for children? Or because Health Insurance Companies can’t drop you when you are no longer profitable? Or that Cap and Trade is killing our country? Please. I bet you can’t find 10 Tea Party voters who can even tell you what Cap and Trade is. I know for damn sure that bitch from Alaska can’t.

Michele Bachmann is a lunatic who wants Democrats investigated. Sarah Palin quit her job as Governor so she could get rich. Sharron Angle told a bunch of hispanic students that they looked a little Asian – as if the Asians got together with the Hispanics to create a bigger voting block ??? I mean what the hell was that all about anyway?

Wake up America. John Boehner is orange for goodness sakes. Orange people don’t have to be asked because you can tell just by looking at them. Where is Michele Bachmann’s investigation on orange people?

And this lot is better than Obama? I’m not buying it.

Ten percent of the vote came out of a nation frustrated by unemployment. The other 90% remains divided. As soon as the jobs return we’ll be back to dealing with the hard problems: Racism. Sexism. Ageism. Religious fanaticism. Ignorance…ism. And Sarah Palin.

Two years ago, the pundits predicted that the Republican party had become a regional party reduced to the southern states. Clearly they were wrong. Why? Because hate has no boundaries and Sarah Palin found a flight out of Wasilla.

Today the pundits are saying that Democrats are out of touch with the main stream. Guess what? So were abolitionists. Pundits come and pundits go. I’ve been around for more than 80 years. Deal with it.

For everyone who is currently considering removing their Obama sticker from the back of their car… for every Democrat who made the effort to get out the vote and today is feeling a little down… for every progressive American who is thinking about moving to Canada…. I say this:

Christine O’Donnell might not have been a witch, but Sarah Palin is definitely a bitch. Three steps forward. One step back.

We’re still two steps ahead of the game with a Senate and a White House. Washington will be grid-locked for the next two years, but the ground war just came to the States. Democrats need to stop looking for middle ground and start looking for higher ground. And for goodness sakes, grow a pair and quit apologizing for it.

As I see it, the Democrats have one job between now and the next election - figuring out how to get those who stayed home mad enough to get off their asses. Democracy isn’t a spectator sport. I mean it. Really.

Oy, Vey Is Mir.....

Sometimes, when I read blogs by people with full, rich lives, I feel steamrollered. Not a good or even valid response, but I have it. Then I read blogs by people with seemingly endless troubles and woes, and I think...yeah...why can't I write about that? These people write about their headaches and blown boilers and truly serious depressions, and they get all kinds of sympathy and replies. When I write about anything personal, especially if it's at all painful, the silence is deafening. I guess I'm not a sympathetic character. Better to stick with being the old curmudgeon. That's at least familiar.

But tonight, riding the bus, I was overwhelmed by the thought of....riding the bus in Washington, DC, of all godforsaken places. And I thought about myself as a 10-year-old fishing with my pals on the west shore of Lake Sallie...how we'd ride our bicycles over the gravel road around the lake and pull off onto this one area with no cottages. It was on a small bluff, with the lake and a slim beach about 10 or 12 feet below. We'd cast our baited hooks and wait....I don't think we ever caught a single fish. But it was FUN...different from our usual excursions with our fathers, who drove us in boats out to the good fishing spots, and where we almost always caught fish. But we didn't have to behave ourselves when we rode over to the west shore of the lake by ourselves. We could say what we wanted and act silly.

Anyway, there I was on the bus tonight...coming home from Safeway with TWO big boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios, my favorite cereal these days. And it seemed so far away from where I grew up, and so different, and so isolated. In the beginning of my life, I lived close to rivers and lakes in the Midwest. I had a family--Mom, Dad, John, Bob, Paul, and Gene--though only some of us were left at home. My three oldest brothers were gone fighting WWII. Mom did all the cooking, and my youngest brother, Gene, and I did the dishes on alternate weeks. I can't remember what we had for breakfast at the lake, but in the summer in town, we had Pep flakes with sugar and milk.

Now, tonight, I am an old lady buying my own cereal and going home to share it with Fiona, the landlady's dog. Fiona is nuts about Honey Nut Cheerios, too. I get enormous pleasure hearing her crunch the little o's and smack her doggy lips. I love it when she licks my fingers with her soft little tongue. I'm not supposed to be sharing my food with her--landlady's orders (requests/suggestions/unsubtle hints). The LL says giving her human food turns her OFF her dog food. I have news for the LL. Fiona's been turned off her dog food from day one. In fact, I was reading online about pet owners' experiences feeding small dogs, and I discovered that pretty much to an animal, little dogs HATE the kind of dog food the LL is trying to feed her. It's supposed to be very nutritious, and it's quite expensive, but Fiona won't touch it with a 10-foot pole except when she's desperately hungry. Apparently that event happens in the night when nobody is watching. I've never seen her dig into her dish at other times.

Anyway,...I was sitting there holding my Honey Nut Cheerios in the plastic store bag, and drowning in loneliness. I've never been afraid of loneliness, but sometimes I get so effing tired of hauling it around, that I suddenly feel overwhelmed and very sad--almost to the point of tears. I wish I could write hilariously about this--that is, write about it so it's hilarious, sort of, like Belgian Waffle. She has major miseries, but the way she writes about them cracks me (and dozens of others) up.

So I'm riding the bus thinking "despised as a kid, despised as an adult." Thus, I do lojong practice and send at least my small joy in the cartoon bee on the Honey Nut Cheerios box to everyone else in the world who is also feeling lower than snake shit.

White House Caves on Bush Tax Cuts

Here's a comment by "Roger G" from the Huffington Post article on this today (emphasis definitely MINE):

I voted for Reagan in 1980 because I was concerned about interest on the national debt--
He said he would eliminate the debt- HE LIED-
He tripled the debt and after he lowered the top tax rate to 54% in 1980
-he again lowered it to 28% in 1984--
Since then ,we have paid $8,000,000,000,000 in interest on the debt.

Had he left the rate at 54%-we would NOT have a national debt today.
The wealthy and the Republicans have ruined this country.

To those who think the wealthy deserve these tax breaks because you think it ts not coming out of your pocket-THINK AGAIN- Who do you think gets the 8 Trillion in interest,it is the wealthy who own the debt.

Who do you think profits when health care insurance has doubled in the last 10 years, who profits when you buy medicine,who profits from prisons,who profits when you go to a hospital,who profits when you buy car
insurance,who profits when you pay high interest on your credit cards--

It is the wealthy who own the majority of stocks and bonds in the aforementioned entities.
Yes,the wealthy even make money when you WIPE YOUR BUTT-They own the paper companies- Think about it

Thanks, you totally stupid Republican Tea Partiers! Thanks you stay-at-home-and-don't-vote Democrats! Are you happy now?

It's Saturday Night! Time for Fun!

In 2007, after I'd had my cochlear implant for a few months, I tried listening to the Klazz Brothers' album, "Mozart Meets Cuba," and was enchanted. One selection from this CD, Mozart's "Reich mir die Hand" from the opera "Don Giovanni," is a love song--a duet. Youtube has many versions of "Reich mir die Hand," some instrumental only, some sung.

Here's "Mozart Meets Cuba":



For fun (this IS Saturday night) I'm posting two more traditional versions. The first features Placido Domingo and Kathleen Battle--well matched, not only in their powerful voices but also their dramatic presence:



(Ms. Hodgepodge, sorry for the Korean subtitles....)

The second features Sting and Angela Gheorgiu. Sting, despite his wonderful musical talent and accomplishments, clearly is not an opera singer, but it is no surprise that Angela Gheorghiu with her gorgeous voice and dazzling presence is a beloved star of opera:



Both of the sung versions are in Italian rather than the original German. The first few words translated into English read

Don Giovanni. Give me your hand, my life,
Come to my castle with me.
Can you still resist?
It is not far from here.
Zerlina. Oh, I should probably dare.
My heart is far too much.
Soon I should be happy to beat it,
Soon anxious and difficult.
Don Giovanni. Let me not advertise for free.
Zerlina. Masetto would die.
Don Giovanni. Fortunately you will always surrounded.
Zerlina. I can hardly resist.

This goes on for another 500 words or so, and then, they go off together to the castle.

"Hi, Sweetie!"

Despite the election day before yesterday, there are miracles all around....here's a happy you-tube for Ronniecat and Cynthia and Darlene and Barbara. This 8-month-old baby was born deaf. Watch the moment as his cochlear implant is activated and he hears sound for the first time--and his mother's voice. We got our CIs much later, but that little guy's face says it all: I HEAR YOU!!! (Thanks to Peggy for sending this!!)

"The GOP Faces Choice in How to Oppose"

This was a headline in today's NYTimes. Yes, members of the newly GOP-heavy House of Representatives are facing choices, but WHY should their their main goal be to OPPOSE?? How about HELP FIX THE MESS THEY GOT US INTO IN THE FIRST PLACE? What with their endless, anonymous source of funds, which are going mostly to people who are already rich, how are they going to justify parading as "servants of their constituents"? Their real constituents are their owners--the ones who bought their seats in our government. They don't give a flying f*ck about the rest of us, who are just poor and getting poorer.

Happy Halloween

What better day for a Halloween post than the day after the election?  It only seems like I'm weeks late....

Guess what!? People are remembering!!

"Get your friends to the polls"

My Gut Says It's Time for a Brief Respite from Political Fundraising

Vote Wisely November 2....

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator..

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have
you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In
the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and
other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his
hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense
of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar, and the
finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a
good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it
is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is
waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven.."

So, 24 hours pass with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before
he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by, and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your
eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:

"Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell..

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered
with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the
trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator.

"Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says,

"Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted."

Vote wisely on November 2, 2010

Re: the Pope making Homer Simpson Catholic

My friend and former co-worker Mike sent me this absolute jewel of a transcript of "Homer the Heretic," which ran in 1994. Pardon the layout and all, but that's part of the charm for me. Mike, being deaf, has tracked down the text version* of this episode. Thanks, Mike!!


Homer the Heretic Written by George Meyer
Directed by Jim Reardon

TV Guide Synopsis


Title sequence


Blackboard

{I will not defame New Orleans}. (Only in Canada.)

Driveway


Homer yells, ``D'oh!'' when Lisa scoots past.
Homer yells, ``Waugh!'' when the car closes in on him.

Couch


The couch is missing.

In Canada:
The couch pivots and the family disappears into a secret passageway.

Quotes and scene summary



Prenatal Homer. ``Ah, what a beautiful day in the womb.'' Until the fluid
drains and a hand reaches in to remove him. Homer clings for dear life...

... to the bedpost, as Marge tries to drag him out of bed for church.
Homer maintains that it is too cold out. Outside, a polar baird scavenges
the Simpsons trash can. Homer struggles with his itchy church pants...

One size fits all my butt!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

They rip. ``Forget it. I'm not going.'' Marge scowls...

... as she drives the kids to church. In the car, Maggie removes her
pacifier and licks the kiddie seat, only to have her tongue stick to it.

Bart: Hey, where's Homer?
Marge: Your father's ... resting.
Bart: Resting hung over? Resting got fired? Help me out, here.
-- The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on its back, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer remains snuggled in bed, but reluctantly rouses himself to go to
the bathroom.

I'm wizzing with the door open, and I love it!
-- Homer Alone, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer takes a nice warm shower.

Radio: I hope you're somplace warm.
Homer: You bet your sweet... [looks around to make sure nobody's around]

-- Can I say that on this network? ``Homer the Heretic''

The congregation shiver in the unheated church, thanks to a broken furnace,
as Reverend Lovejoy reads from the long version of the Lamentations of
Jeremiah. Maggie unscrews the cap from her bottle, to find that the
milk itself has frozen.

At home, Homer sends the thermostat up to 100 degrees (Fahrenheit),
cranks the stereo to full power, and dances around the house wearing
only his underwear and sunglasses, singing ``Short Shorts.'' He then
raids the fridge to make one of his patented out-of-this-world space-age
Moon Waffles, a truly sickening concoction.

Oooooh... Waffle runoff...
-- Homer helps himself to leftover waffle batter, ``Homer the Heretic''

Mmmm... Fattening...
-- Homer enjoys a patented out-of-this-world space-age Moon Waffle,
``Homer the Heretic''

Reverend Lovejoy's description of the fire and brimstone of Hell warms
up his audience. Muses Bart, ``Aaaaahhhhhh... I'm there.''

Homer drops some of his Moon Waffle on his chest, so he has Santa's Little
Helper lick it off.

The service has ended, but nobody can get out because the door has frozen
shut. Lisa quietly recites an Our Father.

Lisa, this is neither the time nor the place.
-- Bart tells Lisa to stop praying in church, ``Homer the Heretic''

Listening to the radio, Homer discovers that he can answer the trivia
question posed by the dee-jays. He calls in and wins.

Groundskeeper Willy turns an acetylene torch to the door in an attempt
to unstick it. To pass the time, Reverend Lovejoy reads the church
bulletin.

Card table for sale, top badly damaged, leg missing, otherwise fine.
One dollar or best offer.
-- Advertisement in the church bulletin, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer watches a Three Stooges movie.

Moe is their leader.
-- Homer's analysis of The Three Stooges, ``Homer the Heretic''

With a great ``Huzzah!'', Groundskeeper Willy opens the door. The
congregation nearly stampede out of church.

Homer turns on the television, only to be disappointed that it's a
discussion show.

We interrupt this public affairs program in order to bring you a football game.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer celebrates victory.

Meanwhile, Marge's car is the only one left in the church parking lot. It
won't start. Lisa offers backseat advice, then reconsiders.

Homer polishes off a bag of chips as he watches the football game.

Oh, Doctor! A 98-yard triple-reverse ties the score at 63--63!
We have seen nothing but razzle-dazzle here today, three visits from
Morganna the Kissing Bandit, and the surprising return of Jim Brown!
-- Keith Jackson calls the football game, ``Homer the Heretic''

And as if Homer's day weren't perfect enough, he finds a penny on the floor.

Could this be the best day of my life?
[thought balloon: Homer weds Marge]
[thought balloon: Homer dances as an overturned beer truck sprays its contents
like a fountain]
Looks like we have a new champion!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

The rest of the family finally arrive, cold and weary.

I, on the other hand, have been having a wonderful day,
and I owe it all to skipping church!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer vows that he will never go to church again.

Marge: Are you actually giving up your faith?
Homer: [backpedaling] No! No-no-no-no-no no! [pause] Well, yes.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

[End of Act One. Time: 6:42]

As Marge struggles to scrape the goo off the waffle iron, Homer explains
his position. Bart supports Homer in evangelical fashion.

And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making
God madder and madder!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

Marge prays for Homer, while he plays with her hair. Marge edges away to
a less occupied portion of the bed and prays in a whisper. Homer salaciously
awaits. ``I can wait all...'' He falls asleep and dreams...

Homer sits on the couch as the entire house is shaken as if by an earthquake.
(The TV set says, ``Uh-oh!'') A shaft of light pierces through the dark
clouds overhead, the Hand of God removes the roof of the house, and His
Almighty stands in the Simpsons television room.

God: Thou hast forsaken My Church!
Homer: [in fear] Uh, kind-of... b-but...
God: But what!
Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should
I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
God: [pause] Hmm... You've got a point there.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

You know, sometimes even rather be watching football...
-- God chats with Homer about missing church on Sunday, ``Homer the Heretic''

God: Does Saint Louis still have a team?
Homer: Naw, they moved to Phoenix.
God: Oh. Right.
-- God and Homer talk about the important things in life, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer explains that what bugs him most about church is the sermons. God
couldn't agree more.

That Reverend Lovejoy displeases Me.
I think I'll give him a canker sore.
-- God, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer explains that he'll just worship God in his own way. God agrees.
``It's a deal.''

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico.
-- God takes his leave, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer waves good-bye in his sleep.

Homer ambles through the backyard dressed in monks' robes.

Lisa: Why are you dedicating your life to blasphemy?
Homer: Don't worry, sweetheart. If I'm wrong, I'll recant on my deathbed.
-- Always have a backup plan, ``Homer the Heretic''

Two birds and a squirrel alight on St. Homer of Assisi. They remain with
him while he takes a shower. ``Guys, please, will you give me five
minutes?''

Reverend Lovejoy joins the Simpsons for dinner.

Marge: Reverend Lovejoy, I had a bit of an ulterior motive in
inviting you to dinner.
Rev. Lovejoy: [surprised and angry] What!?
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer explains...

Homer: God Himself told me I should seek a new path.
Rev. Lovejoy: [suspicious] Oh, really...
Homer: Yeah. He appeared before me in a dream, and I knew that
was special because I usually dream about naked...
[off Marge's glare] Marge.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Perfect teeth. Nice smell. A class act, all the way.
-- Homer describes God, ``Homer the Heretic''

Rev. Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26.
``A foolish man who who built his house on sand.''
Homer: And remember... Matthew ... 21:17!
Rev. Lovejoy: ``And he left them and went out of the city into
Bethany and he lodged there''?
Homer: Yeah... [regains his nerve] Think about it!
-- Dueling scriptures with an unloaded gun, ``Homer the Heretic''

At Moe's Tavern, Homer calls in to work to tell them he won't be in tomorrow
due to a religious holiday. When asked for the name of the holiday, Homer
looks around the barroom and comes up with ``The Feast of Maximum
Occupancy.'' Homer invites Moe to join his religion, but Moe explains,
``I was born a Snake Handler, and I'll die a Snake Handler.''

Homer answers the door to find Ned, armed with a guitar, and backed up
by his loving family. Their mission is to win Homer back to the flock.
They begin singing, but Homer slams the door in their faces.

At work, Homer answers the phone, and hears more singing.

The Flanderses pull up beside Homer on the street and continue their singing.
Homer pulls away.

Dad, the heathen's getting away!
-- Todd Flanders, ``Homer the Heretic''

A car chase ensues. Homer crosses the train tracks just meters ahead of
the train. Undaunted, Ned drives his wagon through an open boxcar.
The chase continues to Springfield Harbor, where Homer drives the car off
the dock and lands on an outgoing barge. Ned stops his car just in time.
Home celebrates victory, until he learns he's landed on a garbage barge.

``Flay Me to the Moon'', another insane Itchy and Scratchy cartoon.
Marge tells the kids it's time for church, and Bart asks why Homer can stay
home. Marge reluctantly explains that Homer is ``wicked''.

Kids, let me tell you about another so-called [makes quotation marks with
fingers] ``wicked'' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't
always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...
I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what
I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?
-- Homer's parable of the guy in the blue car, ``Homer the Heretic''

Marge: Homer, please don't make me choose between my man and my God, because
you just can't win.
Homer: There you go again, always taking someone else's side.
Flanders, the water department, God...
-- They're all against me, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer turns down one last opportunity to go to church. At church, Reverend
Lovejoy's sermon begins with a pronouncement that the devil lives among them.
Bart attacks a man with a goatee before Reverend Lovejoy can explain what
he meant.

Homer lounges in his underwear reading a Lorne Michaels interview in
``Playdude'' magazine.

``Our unabashed dictionary defines IUD as `love springs internal'.''
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! ... I don't get it.
-- Homer reads ``Playdude'' magazine, ``Homer the Heretic''

Krusty comes to the door collecting for the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns.

Homer: Wait a minute, is this a religious thing?
Krusty: A religious think, yes.
-- Krusty collects for the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer slams the door in his face.

Reverend Lovejoy recites the commandment ``Keep holy the Sabbath day'',
as Homer buys a crate of Duff and a box of cigars from the Kwik-E-Mart.
Homer notes that Apu isn't in church, but Apu corrects him: He has a
shrine to Ganeesha in the employee lounge. Homer walks over to the
multi-armed elephant, ``Hey, Ganeesha. Wanna peanut?''

Please do not offer my god a peanut.
-- Apu, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer makes some disparaging remarks regarding Apu's choice of religion.

[angrily] Mr. Simpson, please pay for your purchases and get out and
[brightly] come again!
-- Apu, ``Homer the Heretic''

``Pride goeth before Destruction,'' proclaims Reverend Lovejoy.

Homer lounges on the couch smoking a cigar.

Boy, everyone is stupid except me.
-- Homer Simpson, ``Homer the Heretic''

He falls asleep and the cigar falls out of his mouth onto
the copy of ``Playdude'', lighting it. The fire quickly spreads throughout
the house, aided by the oily rags and blasting caps stored in the basement.
The house is now engulfed in flame. ``Marge, turn down the heat. ... That's
better.''

[End of Act Two. Time: 15:49]

Santa's Little Helper rushes into the burning living room and tugs at Homer's
robe. He finds a Hershey's bar, takes it, and escapes. The fire singes
Homer's two hairs, which wakes him up.

Aaaaaugh! [finds himself in the middle of a fire] What do I do? What do
I do? [cough cough] Oh, the song. The song.
[sings] When the fire starts to burn,
There's a lesson you must learn.
Something something, then you'll see:
You'll avoid catastrophe!
[realizes] D'oh!
-- Homer's lesson for the day, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer collapses from the smoke.

Through his binoculars, Apu spots the fire. He puts on his shiny Fire Chief
hat and leaves little Jamshed to watch the store. The young boy cocks out
a shotgun. ``I have waited for this day.'' Jimbo, Kerny, and Dolph freeze
in their tracks.

The volunteer fire truck races towards the Simpsons house. But first, it
must wait at a duck crossing. Ned discovers the burning house and rushes in
to carry Homer out. But his exit is blocked by a fallen burning beam. So
he carries Homer to Maggie's room, tosses out a mattress, then shoves Homer
out the window after a prayer. Homer lands on the mattress and bounces
back into the house via the front bay window. With a sigh, Ned does the
same. He finally drags Homer out the now-broken front window as the
fire truck arrives.

Homer: Flanders, you saved me! Why?
Ned: Heck! You'd'a done the same for me.
Homer: [thought balloon: Ned screams for help, trapped in his house. Homer
lounges in his hammock chuckling.] That's right, old friend.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Marge and the kids rush to Homer's side, concerned.

Our magazines and roach traps... Gone! All gone!
-- Homer remains in a state of shock after the house fire,
``Homer the Heretic''

Krusty saves the cat. Barney uses the axe to chop the Simpsons mailbox.
Lisa notes, ``Truly this was an Act of God.'' The fire spreads to Ned's
house, and Homer notes, ``Hey. Flanders is a regluar Charlie Church, and
God didn't save house.'' A tiny cloud forms over the Flanders
house, the rain dousing the fire, and the damage sealed with a rainbow.

The insurance representative arrives.

Insurance agent: Any valuables in the house?
Homer: Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars...
Insurance agent: Sorry, this policy only covers actualy losses,
not made-up stuff.
Homer: [miffed] Well that's just great!
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

A Channel 6 mobile truck has arrived.

Brockman: Fire, Man's Oldest Foe. Insatiable, remorseless, unquenchable.
Wiggum: Hey, it's out! [cheers]
Brockman: [brightly] Coming up next: Which work better? Spring clothespins
or the other kind?
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

In the kitchen, the firefighters enjoy a well-deserved mug of hot cocoa.
Homer learns his lesson:

The Lord is veangeful. [falls to his knees] Oh Spiteful One,
Show me who to smite, and he shall be smoten!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He working in the hearts of your friends and
neighbors when they came to your aid,
be they [points to Ned] Christian, [Krusty] Jew, or [Apu] ... miscellaneous.
Apu: Hindu! There 700 million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: Aw, that's super.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer: I was rude to every one of you, and you saved my life when you could've
just left me to fry like the proverbial pancake that I am.
Marge: Aw, Homer, I'm so glad to hear you say that.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer promises to be in church next Sunday, front row center.

And he holds his promise, snoring loudly in the front pew. Homer enters
Dream-Land.

Don't worry, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year.
-- God, ``Homer the Heretic''

In the background Ben Franklin (Yes, Ben Franklin) beats Jimi Hendrix
at air hockey.

Homer: What's the meaning of life?
God: Homer, I can't tell you that. You'll find out when you die.
Homer: I can't wait that long!
God: You can't wait six months?
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer wants to know now, so God decides to tell him. ``The meaning of life
is...''

[End of Act Three. Time: 20:46]

Voice Credits

Starring

Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Radio DJ, Krusty, Groundskeeper Willy)
Julie Kavner (Marge)
Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Rodd and Todd)
Yeardley Smith (Lisa, Maggie)
Hank Azaria (Moe, Wiggum, Apu)
\: and
Harry Shearer (Ned Flanders, God, Rev. Lovejoy, Kent Brockman)
Also Starring

Maggie Roswell (movie character)

Didja notice...


... it was so cold in church, the flower petals cracked like glass?
... at the beginning of act two, Maggie was actually eating her food!
... God has fingers and toes! So much for being made in His image.
God also wears Birkenstocks.
... Homer's car window is an automatic? You'd think a car with a
``Hi-Fi'' 8-track would have manual windows.
... the sign for Springfield Harbor includes a depiction of Blinky?
... the title of Reverend Lovejoy's sermone was ``When Homer Met Satan''?
(A pun on the Rob Reiner film ``When Harry Met Sally''.)
... Krusty was wearing a yarmulke while collecting for the Brotherhood
of Jewish Clowns?
... Ned's eyes separated from his head momentarily when he fell through
the floor? (A standard cartoon technique.)
... one of Barney's grunts as he chopped the mailbox was a belch!


Movie (and other) References


+ Risky Business
- Homer dances in his underwear when nobody else is home.
~ Mission: Impossible
- The violin trill as the fire traces the lamp cord like a fuse.

Freeze Frame Fun


Homer's Space-Age Out-of-This-World Moon Waffles


* Ingredients
+ One bag caramel cubes
+ Waffle mix
+ One bottle Liquid Smoke
+ One stick butter
* Directions
+ Empty bag of caramels onto waffle iron.
+ Add generous portion of waffle batter.
+ Add one bottle of Liquid Smoke.
+ Cook until burnt.
+ Wrap waffle around a stick of butter.
+ Serve on a toothpick.

Playdude


+ July 1966
+ ``Don't laugh. It's a car from Japan.''

Springfield Volunteer Fire Department


+ Apu (fire chief)
+ Chief Wiggum
+ Krusty
+ Some guy with thick glasses and a grey moustache
+ Mrs. Van Houton
+ Barney (drinking a beer)
+ Otto (hanging on for dear life)

Miscellaneous


+ The pizza menu on the kitchen corkboard has been replaced by a
note titled ``God bless this mess''.
+ The restaurant on the pier is named ``Smoke on the Water''.

Animation and continuity goofs


Two angles in the post-Itchy and Scratch scene seem poorly-done.
Marge's first close-up shows a darker coat, and her bustline is different.
After Marge says, ``I'll have to tell them their father is...'', the
quick shot of Lisa shows a darker dress. Incidentally, throughout the scene,
the way Lisa is sitting on the couch really shows off her paunch.

The soot on Ned's forehead magically disappears.

Comments and other observations


References from the obvious to the obscure


No Soap, Radio!


The shower radio was named ``No Soap, Radio!'' If you don't get the joke,
you probably can't.

Keith Jackson


Although the football announcer was apparently intended to be Keith
Jackson, Keith Jackson calls college football games, which take place
on Saturdays. @{mdv}

Morganna the Kissing Bandit


During the mid 80's, an overly-endowed woman would often rush onto the
playing field of a major American sports event and plant a smooch on a
player. She would then quickly be escorted off the stadium grounds by
security.

Short Shorts


[syracurg@lp.musc.edu] gives a brief musical history lesson:

``Short Shorts dates back to 1958, when it was recorded as a legit
song by the Blazers and also the Royal Teens (and a few other groups).

Marge the mother


Bart's Sunday attire consisted of a brown blazer, brown shorts, and brown
shoes. (But still with the little white dot on the inside of the foot.
Were they brown sneakers?) Lisa was wearing her traditional pink Sunday
dress, with short sleeves and a short skirt. How could Marge have let
her kids go to church in sub-freezing weather dressed in summer clothes?
They weren't even wearing coats!

Homer's coffee mug


Could anyone make out the picture on Homer's coffee mug as he listens
to the radio? It looks like a pirate but I can't figure out why.
(I.e., it wasn't funny.)

Ben Franklin?


Yes, it was Ben Franklin. For evidence, I point you at episode [7F03],
in which Ben Franklin invents the sled. You'll see that the two characters
have the same appearance and the same voice.

Church


Notice that Springfield Presbyterian Church has a somewhat relaxed dress
code. Hats, make-up, and shorts are permitted. And one wonders whether
the damage to the card table advertised in the bulletin was Satan-induced.

Homer's story


In case you didn't attend Sunday School for one reason or another, the
traditional antecedent of Homer's story about the ``guy with long hair
and wild ideas'' is Jesus. As usual, Homer threatens to show a
glimmer of intelligence, but we discover that he was on a completely
different track.

Jamshed


Amitava Biswas @{ab} suggests that Jamshed is named after Jamshed
Tata, one of India's most famous industrialists, akin to Ford in the US.

Miscellaneous


Now that most of the walls and floors of the house have been burnt, the
Simpsons might discover the gold and jewels hidden under the floor of
Lisa's room. ... Naaaaah.

Distribution notice and Acknowledgments

Blah blah Chris Baird blah blah Raymond Chen blah blah.

Raymond ``You guys have been watching too many cartoons.''[Rugrats] Chen



*link:
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F01.html