Re: the Pope making Homer Simpson Catholic

My friend and former co-worker Mike sent me this absolute jewel of a transcript of "Homer the Heretic," which ran in 1994. Pardon the layout and all, but that's part of the charm for me. Mike, being deaf, has tracked down the text version* of this episode. Thanks, Mike!!


Homer the Heretic Written by George Meyer
Directed by Jim Reardon

TV Guide Synopsis


Title sequence


Blackboard

{I will not defame New Orleans}. (Only in Canada.)

Driveway


Homer yells, ``D'oh!'' when Lisa scoots past.
Homer yells, ``Waugh!'' when the car closes in on him.

Couch


The couch is missing.

In Canada:
The couch pivots and the family disappears into a secret passageway.

Quotes and scene summary



Prenatal Homer. ``Ah, what a beautiful day in the womb.'' Until the fluid
drains and a hand reaches in to remove him. Homer clings for dear life...

... to the bedpost, as Marge tries to drag him out of bed for church.
Homer maintains that it is too cold out. Outside, a polar baird scavenges
the Simpsons trash can. Homer struggles with his itchy church pants...

One size fits all my butt!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

They rip. ``Forget it. I'm not going.'' Marge scowls...

... as she drives the kids to church. In the car, Maggie removes her
pacifier and licks the kiddie seat, only to have her tongue stick to it.

Bart: Hey, where's Homer?
Marge: Your father's ... resting.
Bart: Resting hung over? Resting got fired? Help me out, here.
-- The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on its back, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer remains snuggled in bed, but reluctantly rouses himself to go to
the bathroom.

I'm wizzing with the door open, and I love it!
-- Homer Alone, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer takes a nice warm shower.

Radio: I hope you're somplace warm.
Homer: You bet your sweet... [looks around to make sure nobody's around]

-- Can I say that on this network? ``Homer the Heretic''

The congregation shiver in the unheated church, thanks to a broken furnace,
as Reverend Lovejoy reads from the long version of the Lamentations of
Jeremiah. Maggie unscrews the cap from her bottle, to find that the
milk itself has frozen.

At home, Homer sends the thermostat up to 100 degrees (Fahrenheit),
cranks the stereo to full power, and dances around the house wearing
only his underwear and sunglasses, singing ``Short Shorts.'' He then
raids the fridge to make one of his patented out-of-this-world space-age
Moon Waffles, a truly sickening concoction.

Oooooh... Waffle runoff...
-- Homer helps himself to leftover waffle batter, ``Homer the Heretic''

Mmmm... Fattening...
-- Homer enjoys a patented out-of-this-world space-age Moon Waffle,
``Homer the Heretic''

Reverend Lovejoy's description of the fire and brimstone of Hell warms
up his audience. Muses Bart, ``Aaaaahhhhhh... I'm there.''

Homer drops some of his Moon Waffle on his chest, so he has Santa's Little
Helper lick it off.

The service has ended, but nobody can get out because the door has frozen
shut. Lisa quietly recites an Our Father.

Lisa, this is neither the time nor the place.
-- Bart tells Lisa to stop praying in church, ``Homer the Heretic''

Listening to the radio, Homer discovers that he can answer the trivia
question posed by the dee-jays. He calls in and wins.

Groundskeeper Willy turns an acetylene torch to the door in an attempt
to unstick it. To pass the time, Reverend Lovejoy reads the church
bulletin.

Card table for sale, top badly damaged, leg missing, otherwise fine.
One dollar or best offer.
-- Advertisement in the church bulletin, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer watches a Three Stooges movie.

Moe is their leader.
-- Homer's analysis of The Three Stooges, ``Homer the Heretic''

With a great ``Huzzah!'', Groundskeeper Willy opens the door. The
congregation nearly stampede out of church.

Homer turns on the television, only to be disappointed that it's a
discussion show.

We interrupt this public affairs program in order to bring you a football game.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer celebrates victory.

Meanwhile, Marge's car is the only one left in the church parking lot. It
won't start. Lisa offers backseat advice, then reconsiders.

Homer polishes off a bag of chips as he watches the football game.

Oh, Doctor! A 98-yard triple-reverse ties the score at 63--63!
We have seen nothing but razzle-dazzle here today, three visits from
Morganna the Kissing Bandit, and the surprising return of Jim Brown!
-- Keith Jackson calls the football game, ``Homer the Heretic''

And as if Homer's day weren't perfect enough, he finds a penny on the floor.

Could this be the best day of my life?
[thought balloon: Homer weds Marge]
[thought balloon: Homer dances as an overturned beer truck sprays its contents
like a fountain]
Looks like we have a new champion!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

The rest of the family finally arrive, cold and weary.

I, on the other hand, have been having a wonderful day,
and I owe it all to skipping church!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer vows that he will never go to church again.

Marge: Are you actually giving up your faith?
Homer: [backpedaling] No! No-no-no-no-no no! [pause] Well, yes.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

[End of Act One. Time: 6:42]

As Marge struggles to scrape the goo off the waffle iron, Homer explains
his position. Bart supports Homer in evangelical fashion.

And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making
God madder and madder!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

Marge prays for Homer, while he plays with her hair. Marge edges away to
a less occupied portion of the bed and prays in a whisper. Homer salaciously
awaits. ``I can wait all...'' He falls asleep and dreams...

Homer sits on the couch as the entire house is shaken as if by an earthquake.
(The TV set says, ``Uh-oh!'') A shaft of light pierces through the dark
clouds overhead, the Hand of God removes the roof of the house, and His
Almighty stands in the Simpsons television room.

God: Thou hast forsaken My Church!
Homer: [in fear] Uh, kind-of... b-but...
God: But what!
Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should
I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
God: [pause] Hmm... You've got a point there.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

You know, sometimes even rather be watching football...
-- God chats with Homer about missing church on Sunday, ``Homer the Heretic''

God: Does Saint Louis still have a team?
Homer: Naw, they moved to Phoenix.
God: Oh. Right.
-- God and Homer talk about the important things in life, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer explains that what bugs him most about church is the sermons. God
couldn't agree more.

That Reverend Lovejoy displeases Me.
I think I'll give him a canker sore.
-- God, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer explains that he'll just worship God in his own way. God agrees.
``It's a deal.''

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico.
-- God takes his leave, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer waves good-bye in his sleep.

Homer ambles through the backyard dressed in monks' robes.

Lisa: Why are you dedicating your life to blasphemy?
Homer: Don't worry, sweetheart. If I'm wrong, I'll recant on my deathbed.
-- Always have a backup plan, ``Homer the Heretic''

Two birds and a squirrel alight on St. Homer of Assisi. They remain with
him while he takes a shower. ``Guys, please, will you give me five
minutes?''

Reverend Lovejoy joins the Simpsons for dinner.

Marge: Reverend Lovejoy, I had a bit of an ulterior motive in
inviting you to dinner.
Rev. Lovejoy: [surprised and angry] What!?
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer explains...

Homer: God Himself told me I should seek a new path.
Rev. Lovejoy: [suspicious] Oh, really...
Homer: Yeah. He appeared before me in a dream, and I knew that
was special because I usually dream about naked...
[off Marge's glare] Marge.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Perfect teeth. Nice smell. A class act, all the way.
-- Homer describes God, ``Homer the Heretic''

Rev. Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26.
``A foolish man who who built his house on sand.''
Homer: And remember... Matthew ... 21:17!
Rev. Lovejoy: ``And he left them and went out of the city into
Bethany and he lodged there''?
Homer: Yeah... [regains his nerve] Think about it!
-- Dueling scriptures with an unloaded gun, ``Homer the Heretic''

At Moe's Tavern, Homer calls in to work to tell them he won't be in tomorrow
due to a religious holiday. When asked for the name of the holiday, Homer
looks around the barroom and comes up with ``The Feast of Maximum
Occupancy.'' Homer invites Moe to join his religion, but Moe explains,
``I was born a Snake Handler, and I'll die a Snake Handler.''

Homer answers the door to find Ned, armed with a guitar, and backed up
by his loving family. Their mission is to win Homer back to the flock.
They begin singing, but Homer slams the door in their faces.

At work, Homer answers the phone, and hears more singing.

The Flanderses pull up beside Homer on the street and continue their singing.
Homer pulls away.

Dad, the heathen's getting away!
-- Todd Flanders, ``Homer the Heretic''

A car chase ensues. Homer crosses the train tracks just meters ahead of
the train. Undaunted, Ned drives his wagon through an open boxcar.
The chase continues to Springfield Harbor, where Homer drives the car off
the dock and lands on an outgoing barge. Ned stops his car just in time.
Home celebrates victory, until he learns he's landed on a garbage barge.

``Flay Me to the Moon'', another insane Itchy and Scratchy cartoon.
Marge tells the kids it's time for church, and Bart asks why Homer can stay
home. Marge reluctantly explains that Homer is ``wicked''.

Kids, let me tell you about another so-called [makes quotation marks with
fingers] ``wicked'' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't
always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...
I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what
I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?
-- Homer's parable of the guy in the blue car, ``Homer the Heretic''

Marge: Homer, please don't make me choose between my man and my God, because
you just can't win.
Homer: There you go again, always taking someone else's side.
Flanders, the water department, God...
-- They're all against me, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer turns down one last opportunity to go to church. At church, Reverend
Lovejoy's sermon begins with a pronouncement that the devil lives among them.
Bart attacks a man with a goatee before Reverend Lovejoy can explain what
he meant.

Homer lounges in his underwear reading a Lorne Michaels interview in
``Playdude'' magazine.

``Our unabashed dictionary defines IUD as `love springs internal'.''
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! ... I don't get it.
-- Homer reads ``Playdude'' magazine, ``Homer the Heretic''

Krusty comes to the door collecting for the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns.

Homer: Wait a minute, is this a religious thing?
Krusty: A religious think, yes.
-- Krusty collects for the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer slams the door in his face.

Reverend Lovejoy recites the commandment ``Keep holy the Sabbath day'',
as Homer buys a crate of Duff and a box of cigars from the Kwik-E-Mart.
Homer notes that Apu isn't in church, but Apu corrects him: He has a
shrine to Ganeesha in the employee lounge. Homer walks over to the
multi-armed elephant, ``Hey, Ganeesha. Wanna peanut?''

Please do not offer my god a peanut.
-- Apu, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer makes some disparaging remarks regarding Apu's choice of religion.

[angrily] Mr. Simpson, please pay for your purchases and get out and
[brightly] come again!
-- Apu, ``Homer the Heretic''

``Pride goeth before Destruction,'' proclaims Reverend Lovejoy.

Homer lounges on the couch smoking a cigar.

Boy, everyone is stupid except me.
-- Homer Simpson, ``Homer the Heretic''

He falls asleep and the cigar falls out of his mouth onto
the copy of ``Playdude'', lighting it. The fire quickly spreads throughout
the house, aided by the oily rags and blasting caps stored in the basement.
The house is now engulfed in flame. ``Marge, turn down the heat. ... That's
better.''

[End of Act Two. Time: 15:49]

Santa's Little Helper rushes into the burning living room and tugs at Homer's
robe. He finds a Hershey's bar, takes it, and escapes. The fire singes
Homer's two hairs, which wakes him up.

Aaaaaugh! [finds himself in the middle of a fire] What do I do? What do
I do? [cough cough] Oh, the song. The song.
[sings] When the fire starts to burn,
There's a lesson you must learn.
Something something, then you'll see:
You'll avoid catastrophe!
[realizes] D'oh!
-- Homer's lesson for the day, ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer collapses from the smoke.

Through his binoculars, Apu spots the fire. He puts on his shiny Fire Chief
hat and leaves little Jamshed to watch the store. The young boy cocks out
a shotgun. ``I have waited for this day.'' Jimbo, Kerny, and Dolph freeze
in their tracks.

The volunteer fire truck races towards the Simpsons house. But first, it
must wait at a duck crossing. Ned discovers the burning house and rushes in
to carry Homer out. But his exit is blocked by a fallen burning beam. So
he carries Homer to Maggie's room, tosses out a mattress, then shoves Homer
out the window after a prayer. Homer lands on the mattress and bounces
back into the house via the front bay window. With a sigh, Ned does the
same. He finally drags Homer out the now-broken front window as the
fire truck arrives.

Homer: Flanders, you saved me! Why?
Ned: Heck! You'd'a done the same for me.
Homer: [thought balloon: Ned screams for help, trapped in his house. Homer
lounges in his hammock chuckling.] That's right, old friend.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Marge and the kids rush to Homer's side, concerned.

Our magazines and roach traps... Gone! All gone!
-- Homer remains in a state of shock after the house fire,
``Homer the Heretic''

Krusty saves the cat. Barney uses the axe to chop the Simpsons mailbox.
Lisa notes, ``Truly this was an Act of God.'' The fire spreads to Ned's
house, and Homer notes, ``Hey. Flanders is a regluar Charlie Church, and
God didn't save house.'' A tiny cloud forms over the Flanders
house, the rain dousing the fire, and the damage sealed with a rainbow.

The insurance representative arrives.

Insurance agent: Any valuables in the house?
Homer: Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars...
Insurance agent: Sorry, this policy only covers actualy losses,
not made-up stuff.
Homer: [miffed] Well that's just great!
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

A Channel 6 mobile truck has arrived.

Brockman: Fire, Man's Oldest Foe. Insatiable, remorseless, unquenchable.
Wiggum: Hey, it's out! [cheers]
Brockman: [brightly] Coming up next: Which work better? Spring clothespins
or the other kind?
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

In the kitchen, the firefighters enjoy a well-deserved mug of hot cocoa.
Homer learns his lesson:

The Lord is veangeful. [falls to his knees] Oh Spiteful One,
Show me who to smite, and he shall be smoten!
-- Homer, ``Homer the Heretic''

Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He working in the hearts of your friends and
neighbors when they came to your aid,
be they [points to Ned] Christian, [Krusty] Jew, or [Apu] ... miscellaneous.
Apu: Hindu! There 700 million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: Aw, that's super.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer: I was rude to every one of you, and you saved my life when you could've
just left me to fry like the proverbial pancake that I am.
Marge: Aw, Homer, I'm so glad to hear you say that.
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer promises to be in church next Sunday, front row center.

And he holds his promise, snoring loudly in the front pew. Homer enters
Dream-Land.

Don't worry, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year.
-- God, ``Homer the Heretic''

In the background Ben Franklin (Yes, Ben Franklin) beats Jimi Hendrix
at air hockey.

Homer: What's the meaning of life?
God: Homer, I can't tell you that. You'll find out when you die.
Homer: I can't wait that long!
God: You can't wait six months?
-- ``Homer the Heretic''

Homer wants to know now, so God decides to tell him. ``The meaning of life
is...''

[End of Act Three. Time: 20:46]

Voice Credits

Starring

Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Radio DJ, Krusty, Groundskeeper Willy)
Julie Kavner (Marge)
Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Rodd and Todd)
Yeardley Smith (Lisa, Maggie)
Hank Azaria (Moe, Wiggum, Apu)
\: and
Harry Shearer (Ned Flanders, God, Rev. Lovejoy, Kent Brockman)
Also Starring

Maggie Roswell (movie character)

Didja notice...


... it was so cold in church, the flower petals cracked like glass?
... at the beginning of act two, Maggie was actually eating her food!
... God has fingers and toes! So much for being made in His image.
God also wears Birkenstocks.
... Homer's car window is an automatic? You'd think a car with a
``Hi-Fi'' 8-track would have manual windows.
... the sign for Springfield Harbor includes a depiction of Blinky?
... the title of Reverend Lovejoy's sermone was ``When Homer Met Satan''?
(A pun on the Rob Reiner film ``When Harry Met Sally''.)
... Krusty was wearing a yarmulke while collecting for the Brotherhood
of Jewish Clowns?
... Ned's eyes separated from his head momentarily when he fell through
the floor? (A standard cartoon technique.)
... one of Barney's grunts as he chopped the mailbox was a belch!


Movie (and other) References


+ Risky Business
- Homer dances in his underwear when nobody else is home.
~ Mission: Impossible
- The violin trill as the fire traces the lamp cord like a fuse.

Freeze Frame Fun


Homer's Space-Age Out-of-This-World Moon Waffles


* Ingredients
+ One bag caramel cubes
+ Waffle mix
+ One bottle Liquid Smoke
+ One stick butter
* Directions
+ Empty bag of caramels onto waffle iron.
+ Add generous portion of waffle batter.
+ Add one bottle of Liquid Smoke.
+ Cook until burnt.
+ Wrap waffle around a stick of butter.
+ Serve on a toothpick.

Playdude


+ July 1966
+ ``Don't laugh. It's a car from Japan.''

Springfield Volunteer Fire Department


+ Apu (fire chief)
+ Chief Wiggum
+ Krusty
+ Some guy with thick glasses and a grey moustache
+ Mrs. Van Houton
+ Barney (drinking a beer)
+ Otto (hanging on for dear life)

Miscellaneous


+ The pizza menu on the kitchen corkboard has been replaced by a
note titled ``God bless this mess''.
+ The restaurant on the pier is named ``Smoke on the Water''.

Animation and continuity goofs


Two angles in the post-Itchy and Scratch scene seem poorly-done.
Marge's first close-up shows a darker coat, and her bustline is different.
After Marge says, ``I'll have to tell them their father is...'', the
quick shot of Lisa shows a darker dress. Incidentally, throughout the scene,
the way Lisa is sitting on the couch really shows off her paunch.

The soot on Ned's forehead magically disappears.

Comments and other observations


References from the obvious to the obscure


No Soap, Radio!


The shower radio was named ``No Soap, Radio!'' If you don't get the joke,
you probably can't.

Keith Jackson


Although the football announcer was apparently intended to be Keith
Jackson, Keith Jackson calls college football games, which take place
on Saturdays. @{mdv}

Morganna the Kissing Bandit


During the mid 80's, an overly-endowed woman would often rush onto the
playing field of a major American sports event and plant a smooch on a
player. She would then quickly be escorted off the stadium grounds by
security.

Short Shorts


[syracurg@lp.musc.edu] gives a brief musical history lesson:

``Short Shorts dates back to 1958, when it was recorded as a legit
song by the Blazers and also the Royal Teens (and a few other groups).

Marge the mother


Bart's Sunday attire consisted of a brown blazer, brown shorts, and brown
shoes. (But still with the little white dot on the inside of the foot.
Were they brown sneakers?) Lisa was wearing her traditional pink Sunday
dress, with short sleeves and a short skirt. How could Marge have let
her kids go to church in sub-freezing weather dressed in summer clothes?
They weren't even wearing coats!

Homer's coffee mug


Could anyone make out the picture on Homer's coffee mug as he listens
to the radio? It looks like a pirate but I can't figure out why.
(I.e., it wasn't funny.)

Ben Franklin?


Yes, it was Ben Franklin. For evidence, I point you at episode [7F03],
in which Ben Franklin invents the sled. You'll see that the two characters
have the same appearance and the same voice.

Church


Notice that Springfield Presbyterian Church has a somewhat relaxed dress
code. Hats, make-up, and shorts are permitted. And one wonders whether
the damage to the card table advertised in the bulletin was Satan-induced.

Homer's story


In case you didn't attend Sunday School for one reason or another, the
traditional antecedent of Homer's story about the ``guy with long hair
and wild ideas'' is Jesus. As usual, Homer threatens to show a
glimmer of intelligence, but we discover that he was on a completely
different track.

Jamshed


Amitava Biswas @{ab} suggests that Jamshed is named after Jamshed
Tata, one of India's most famous industrialists, akin to Ford in the US.

Miscellaneous


Now that most of the walls and floors of the house have been burnt, the
Simpsons might discover the gold and jewels hidden under the floor of
Lisa's room. ... Naaaaah.

Distribution notice and Acknowledgments

Blah blah Chris Baird blah blah Raymond Chen blah blah.

Raymond ``You guys have been watching too many cartoons.''[Rugrats] Chen



*link:
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F01.html

While the country yawns over the latest Wikileaks revelations, think on this:

Thanks for this from Prairie Weather today.

Let's toss that "impeach" word around again, only this time...

... let's talk about it in the context of the Supreme Court.  You can't impeach a Supreme Court justice because you disagree with his opinions.  But maybe you can if his private life gets just too, too tawdry and too political.

There's the tawdriness of the lies Clarence Thomas doubtless clung to during his harrowing confirmation hearings.  That nastiness has surfaced again and will -- plenty of us hope -- do him the damage he has deserves after decades in a position he lied to achieve.

But even that's cheap goods compared to the general tawdriness of the newer conservative justices on the Court, the damage they are doing to the Court and the nation.  As we acknowledged the other day, John Roberts is no prize.  But Thomas and Scalia (maybe some Americans are also waiting for the Alito shoe to drop) are using their position on the Court to play footsie with the conservative and libertarian movements and with the people who pour billions into influencing legislation. 

Even leaving aside Ginni Thomas's work (and outside interests), we are confronted once again with Antonin Scalia's and Clarence Thomas's playtime activities among the vote buyers.

A secretive network of Republican donors is heading to the Palm Springs area for a long weekend in January, but it will not be to relax after a hard-fought election — it will be to plan for the next one.

Koch Industries, the longtime underwriter of libertarian causes from the Cato Institute in Washington to the ballot initiative that would suspend California’s landmark law capping greenhouse gases, is planning a confidential meeting at the Rancho Las Palmas Resort and Spa to, as an invitation says, “develop strategies to counter the most severe threats facing our free society and outline a vision of how we can foster a renewal of American free enterprise and prosperity.”

The invitation, sent to potential new participants, offers a rare peek at the Koch network of the ultrawealthy and the politically well-connected, its far-reaching agenda to enlist ordinary Americans to its cause, and its desire for the utmost secrecy. ...

Yes, indeed.  Look at the guest list.

The participants included some of the nation’s wealthiest families and biggest names in finance: private equity and hedge fund executives like John Childs, Cliff Asness, Steve Schwarzman and Ken Griffin; Phil Anschutz, the entertainment and media mogul ranked by Forbes as the 34th-richest person in the country; Rich DeVos, the co-founder of Amway; Steve Bechtel of the giant construction firm; and Kenneth Langone of Home Depot.

The group also included longtime Republican donors and officials, including Foster Friess, Fred Malek and former Attorney General Edwin Meese III.

Participants listened to presentations from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, as well as people who played leading roles in John McCain’s presidential campaign in 2008, like Nancy Pfotenhauer and Annie Dickerson, who also runs a foundation for Paul Singer, a hedge fund executive who like the Kochs is active in promoting libertarian causes.

To encourage new participants, Mr. Koch offers to waive the $1,500 registration fee. And he notes that previous guests have included Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas of the Supreme Court, Gov. Haley Barbour and Gov. Bobby Jindal, Senators Jim DeMint and Tom Coburn, and Representatives Mike Pence, Tom Price and Paul D. Ryan.

Just like the Supreme Court decision in Citizens United, the get-together reeks of partisanship, megabucks, and secrecy. Attending the State of the Union speech is optional for the justices;  responding to the Koch brothers' invitations is de rigeur.

Imagine what our courageous forebears -- who dreamed up America and brought it into being -- would think of what we've made of their gift!

Some Evidence....

This arrived in my inbox this morning from Digby, Howie, and John of Blue America.  Yes, it's an ad, but it's true:

A lot of people are trying to say that all politicians are the same, that your vote doesn't matter. Well, let's look at the evidence. In the last month, here are some headlines about politicians.

"Democrat Alan Grayson Calls for Foreclosure Moratorium"

"Democrat Ohio Secretary of State Attacks Foreclosure Fraud"

"President Obama Pocket Vetos Pro-Bank Bill That Would Increase Foreclosures"

"Democrat Harry Reid Calls for Foreclosure Moratorium"

"Democrat Nancy Pelosi Calls for Investigations of Foreclosure Fraud"

"Democrat Ohio Attorney General Attacks Foreclosure Fraud, Sues GMAC"

"Democrat Illinois Attorney General Asks for Foreclosure Halt in Illinois"

"Democrat Maxine Waters Calls for a Foreclosure Freeze"

"Democrats Alan Grayson, Barney Frank, and Corrine Brown Call for Fannie to Stop Working with Foreclosure 'Mills' Being Investigated for Fraud"

"Democrat Earl Blumenaur Asks for a Foreclosure Freeze in Oregon"

"Democrat Jeff Merkley Calls for a Special Investigator for Foreclosure Fraud"

" Democrats Luis Gutierrez and Dennis Moore Call for Investigations of Bailout Recipients Engaging in Foreclosure Fraud"

"Democrat Attorney General in California Asks for Foreclosure Halt"

"Democrat Attorney General in Massachusetts Asks for Foreclosure Halt"

Notice a pattern here? If not, let me give you another hint.

"Republican Richard Shelby Tries to Weaken Rules, Kicks Regulators"

And people wonder why banks and corporations are spending $5 billion on this election, nearly all of that for Republicans.

 For the life of me, I can't understand why anyone would vote Republican.  The old, honorable Republican party--the one my father voted for--is dead.  

In Case You Didn't See This....

The following is a comment by a reader of Bob Herbert's column in today's NYT, "That Sinking Feeling."  Thanks to the comment's author for pointing out the obvious: we're acting like a bunch of sheep!

That Sinking Feeling…

James Madison long ago questioned if we were utterly without civic virtue? “To suppose that any form of government will secure liberty or happiness without any virtue in the people is a chimerical idea.” If it is so, then we are truly wretched.

Former British Labour MP Tony Benn clearly elucidated how the majority of Americans, whose interests are so grossly being underserved, and because they have lost their political will, have forgotten what it means to have a truly representative government:

"Because people in debt become hopeless and hopeless people don't vote.... If the poor...in the United States turned out and voted for people who represented their interests it would be a democratic revolution. So they don't want it to happen. So keeping people hopeless and pessimistic.... See I think there are two ways in which people are controlled. First of all, frighten people. And secondly, demoralize them. An educated, healthy and confident nation is harder to govern, and I think there's an element in the thinking of some people- we don't want people to be educated, healthy and confident because they would get out of control. The top 1 percent of the world's population owns 80 percent of the world's wealth. It's incredible that people put up with it, but they're poor, they're demoralized, they're frightened and they think perhaps the safest thing to do is take orders and hope for the best."

“However the elections turn out, the Obama administration needs to begin focusing much more intently on the economic plight of ordinary Americans.” I wouldn’t count on that Mr. Herbert. They are complicit tools of the corporate oligarchy, the one percent, who now control this country.

What do you suppose it will be like when voters realize that, because defense and national security, as vital parts of our “debt-and-credit industrial complex,” are exempt from deficit budget issues, Social Security, Medicare, and other social protections are being tossed over the side, and they find themselves unable to stay above water, after the elections?

France’s transport ministry last week issued an advisory that a fuel shortage at the Roissy-Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris required airlines to arrive with enough fuel to get home, as hundreds of thousands took part in another national protest against President Nicolas Sarkozy's bill to raise the retirement age. This week the protests are escalating, adding to widespread travel disruption, alarm about petrol supplies and the closure of schools. One has to admire the French. Unlike us, they don’t let their economic and political masters run rough shod over them without a huge protest.

What is needed is what our political and economic masters fear the most, an educated, healthy, confident nation willing to initiate large and clamorous protests, like the French, willing to deny all support to these corporate toadies. If the majority of Americans simply acted out of self-interest and voted only for people who represented their interests, it would be a democratic revolution.

Are we so utterly without civic virtue? If so, then we are truly wretched.

Why Have We Forgotten?

Today's TruthOut has this by William Rivers Pitt:
Please read the whole article (click the link above)

After an era of Republican rule that saw vast economic collapse, the abrogation of basic rights, the trashing of Constitutional law, two decade-long wars that still have no end in sight, a catastrophic terrorist attack that could have been prevented, the virtual annihilation of a major American city that could have been prevented, and the theft and waste of trillions of dollars, every available poll appears to indicate that the American people have already forgotten all about it, and are perfectly ready to let the wolves back inside the fence.

 ....

Dear Elected Officials: Go to Hell

And while you're on the way, please DO NOT ask us for any further contributions to your election or re-election campaigns. Do not inundate us with phone calls, emails, and letters asking for money.

You could not find it in your hearts/minds/whatever to give a Social Security cost of living adjustment (COLA) to America's senior citizens and disabled persons for the past two years (since 2008), and now, buried in deep in the back pages of the newspapers yesterday was the news that you will not give them a COLA increase for the NEXT TWO YEARS--until 2012. 

Please....just go to hell.  Whether you are members of the Democratic party, the Republican party, the Green party, the Tea Party, or an "Independent" (Joe Lieberman, this especially means you); or whether you're a Senator, a member of the House of Representatives, or a senior member of the Administration (Yes, Barack, that means YOU--practically the first words out of your mouth after we busted our butts to get you elected were "No COLA increases for SS recipients until 2011"), we've had it.  You can watch your own ships sink without any help from us.

And btw, Barack, Nancy, John Kerry, Al Franken, et al., (I won't even mention the Repuglicans, since they'll kill it this time, too, just as they did the last one of these somebody proposed) I see you're going to "try" to get Congress to pass a bill to give us a "bonus" of $250 "soon" (i.e., after the November elections).  Be still my beating heart....or should I tell myself "Don't hold your breath"?  Just think!  A whole two hundred and fifty dollars!!!  It's too bad it's not 1959.  Back then, that was a whole month's salary (upon which I paid Social Security taxes).

The person in charge of Social Security COLA says prices haven't gone up enough to merit an increase for the country's senior citizens and disabled.  What planet does he live on?  Prices have been going up steadily ever since Barack got into office--but I guess he hasn't noticed.  Only the poor people notice when milk costs $4 for a half-gallon or a can of plain old beans costs a buck.

How's your brain holding up after the long weekend??

xkcd.com has a great MAP of online communities

If you don't know what webcomix are (is?)....xkcd.com is the place to go....

Use the zoom on your computer to read the tiny writing....so funny! 

Conversational Arts 101

Apparently, after nearly 50 years of being deaf, I've lost--or forgotten--the art of conversation. I'll be walking along with a friend, and she'll ask me, "Did you hear what I just said?" As we've been chatting, I'll have been keeping an eye on the path so as not to trip over the myriad cracks and uneven bricks sprinkled so generously throughout the fair City of Satan. And people who have known me for a while are well trained to think that if I am not looking right at them, I'm not hearing them. But I can hear pretty well now if I've got the implant's settings right, and I don't need to do that as much now. If they don't say something that I think requires a response (like ask a question), I don't feel the need to interrupt their narrative after every sentence. I dunno...jeez...sometimes I just like to listen to them talk. Dear Sally suggested, when I asked her about it this weekend, that I give some kind of audible clue back...like a grunt or something: "Uh huh, uh huh" (or, as they say it in Iowa, "MmMMH MmMMH"--faster and with the accent on the second syllable).

I'll try it. For years I've gotten my notions of conversation from books, and it's not the same as what people do when they actually TALK. It takes a long time to get the hang of acting like someone who can hear.

How to raise awareness of the coming perfect storm....

It's not exactly a secret any more, but Robert Reich nails it in this column in today's Huffington Post. We're heading for a perfect storm, and we need to DO SOMETHING. (Emphasis mine)

Right now we're headed for a perfect storm: An unprecedented concentration of income and wealth at the top, a record amount of secret money flooding our democracy, and a public in the aftershock of the Great Recession becoming increasingly angry and cynical about government. The three are obviously related.

We must act. We need a movement to take back our democracy. (If tea partiers were true to their principles, they'd join it.) As Martin Luther King once said, the greatest tragedy is "not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."

What can you do?

1. Read Justice Steven's dissent in the Citizens United case, so you're fully informed about the majority's pernicious illogic.

2. Use every opportunity to speak out against this decision, and embarrass and condemn the right-wing Justices who supported it.

3. In this and subsequent elections, back candidates for congress and president who vow to put Justices on the Court who will reverse it.

4. Demand that the IRS enforce the law and pull the plug on Karl Rove and other sham nonprofits.

5. If you have a Republican senator, insist that he or she support the Disclose Act. If they won't, campaign against them.

6. Support public financing of elections.

7. Join an organization like Common Cause, that's committed to doing all this and getting big money out of politics. (Personal note: I'm so outraged at what's happening that I just became chairman of Common Cause.)

8. Send this post to your friends (including any tea partiers you may know).

Robert Reich is the author of Aftershock: The Next Economy and America's Future, now in bookstores. This post originally appeared at RobertReich.org.

[XE here: for your convenience, if you want more information about Common Cause or how to join, Common Cause's weblink has a tab at the upper right "Join Common Cause."


Justice Stevens' Dissent, complete text

The Sky Is Falling!!

Ever feel like everything's gonna wind up in a heap?



God bless the Golden Girls! Only one left now....but how wonderful they were!!

Yes, you can save $$ and eat like rich folks....

One of my favorite blogs is The Foodinista. You can't help but realize, however, when you read it that each of Foodinista's posts is NOT a download from White Trash Cooking. For example, today's recipe is baked potato chips with horseradish sour cream dip for all those legal secretaries, UCLA adjuncts, and entertainment industry execs in her area to take to the office for lunch.

No matter. I am here to tell you that these fancy food blogs I visit so often give me wonderful ideas for cooking my own grub. TF uses bagged chips for her recipe, but she's in another SES altogether. In these parts, a bag of first-class baked potato chips costs about $3.99 (doesn't everything). So....cheaper to just buy the effing potatoes yourself and do your own cooking. Not every potato has to be boiled and mashed! So this time, I'll use the idea of slicing the potatoes really thin, oiling and seasoning the slices, spreading them one layer thick on a 9x13 baking sheet, and baking them in a fairly hot oven (375? 425?) for 20 mins/half an hour or so until they get golden/brownish. And then eating them with horseradish-sour cream dip. (Easy enough: Just add bottled horseradish sauce to sour cream. Foodinista has the recipe on her blog.)

Boy, that sounds soooo good!! And mildly healthy, too. I'll have to go out and get a few more potatoes at the farmers market in Rose Park tmw afternoon--if it's nice--otherwise, I'll go to Yes! Gourmet grocery. Maybe I'll try this with SWEET potatoes, too, but I dunno. I'm not a big fan of sweet potato fries. I like sweet potatoes baked and served with a nice big knob of butter on top!!

Thanks, Crabby!

TGB's Crabby Old Lady said it all for me recently. (And thanks to Cowtown Pattie for the nudge bringing it to our attention.)

Here's some highlights:

To...politicians and candidates who want to replace them: stop telling the country that rich people's tax cuts create jobs. It is a lie. They've had those tax cuts for eight years and look where it got us – millions of permanently lost jobs and 10 percent “official” unemployment that is actually much higher.

Or this...(Speaking of cable companies, how does YOUR elected rep stand on the bill to allow Comcast to buy MSNBC?? There's talk of Comcast cleaning house at MSNBC if our beloved gov't allows the deal--like, no more Rachel Maddow? Get on the horn and call your rep...tell her/him to say NO to this latest maneuver for media consolidation.)

To cable news media: stop filling 90 percent of your air time with fact-free talking heads flapping their gums in total ignorance of everything. Crabby Old Lady has never learned one useful thing from them. Pay some trained reporters, instead, to do some real journalism. A whole lot of them are out of work and they'll do the job for less money than your “star” bloviators.

And so it goes....Read Crabby's post in full. It's no fun to be crying "Doom!" all the time, but somebody's got to do it. Crabby does it better than most.

When will we learn?

If this doesn't bother you because you are not gay, think again



Martin Niemoller had it right:

They came first for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and by that time no one was left to speak up.

We can do THIS right now....

RealAge has a great video in Tips for the Day this a.m.: Leslie Sansone's Walk at Home!



Claude walks at home with this, I think--or something similar--in addition to her inimitable photographic prowls through her neighborhood in Paris.  I love walking in Paris...and I love walking little Fiona through my neighborhood.  But this seems like a good workout to do right here and right now.  I just need to get
up and stop lying here admiring Sansone's energy.  It's morning in Maryland...time to hit it!

Sunday Music: Tunde Jegede and Sona (Maya) Jobarteh

Video clip:  Tunde Jegede and Maya Jobarteh perform in Limerick, Ireland, in St. Mary's Cathedral.

Jegede is an internationally known multi-instrumentalist and composer who specializes in the West African harp-lute instrument called the kora.  Jobarteh is the first female kora player in her famous kora-playing West African family.  She began studying the kora at age 3 and gave her first performance at the London Jazz Cafe at age 4.  She also plays the cello, the piano, and the guitar.

Tonight I decided to find more songs to share.  I came upon this you-tube by accident, but I love their music. 

Hey! It's Saturday Night!!

Forget the bike riding....Here's the Queen of Ever:



She of course keeps that classy chassis on the Serial Skool Lunchbox Diet: Monday--a slice of bread; Tuesday, a slice of cheese; Wednesday, all the lettuce she wants; Thursday, ditto fresh tomato slices; Friday, another slice of bread; Saturday, an apple, and Sunday, a cookie & a glass of skim milk!

Fun, Sore Buns for Saturday...

If you can stand to ride your bike around DC in traffic for either 60 miles (the 50 States ride) or 15 miles (the 13 Colonies ride), haul yourself to Kaloramo Park tmw morning.  This good news is from Prince of Petworth's 5 PM Post today:

The 5pm Post – WABA 50 States and 13 Colonies Ride this Saturday

23 September 2010 5:00 PM | By Prince Of Petworth in Bike

Photo by PoPville flickr user JRoseC
“Saturday, September 25- The legendary 50 States and 13 Colonies Ride is back in 2010. Are you ready to try one of the hardest rides in DC? We provide the Start/Finish area and 3 pit stops fully stocked with water, food, and a bike mechanic.
The most unique and challenging bike ride in DC! This 60+ mile ride is for cyclists experienced and comfortable with riding through the city streets with traffic. The 50 States ride covers all 50 state streets in all 8 Wards in search of the District of Columbia’s statehood. Often been referred to as “brutal,” “insane,” and “engrossing.” You have not seen the city of Washington by bike until you have done the 50 States Ride.
*Cue sheets will be available the day of the ride. Because some of the cues may change last minute due to construction projects and road closures, WABA will not provide cue sheets in advance.

13 Colonies

Not quite as challenging as the 50 States Ride, but equally as enjoyable. Ride on all the streets named for every one of the 13 original colonies. This ride is a little under 15 miles and is also for cyclists who are comfortable with riding on city streets with traffic.
*Cue sheets will be available the day of the ride
Register Now>>
Continues after the jump.

Ride Check-In & Start:

Kalorama Park
1875 Columbia Road NW, WDC
8:00 am – Ride Check-In
8:30 am – 50 States Ride Begins
9:00 am – 13 Colonies Ride Begins

Getting There:

Kalorama Park is conveniently located to the Adams Morgan/Woodley Park Metro Station on the Red Line. If you are driving, limited street parking is available.

Lunch:

Those who choose the California Tortilla burrito lunch option will receive their food at the Capitol Hill Pit stop no earlier than 11:30AM.

Post-ride Happy Hour:

To celebrate your hard pedaling, come on over to The Grill from Ipanema for a post-ride happy  hour! Located right across the street from the finish area at Kalorama Park, there will be bike parking out front, a delicious brunch offered until 4pm and a full menu after that, and 1/2 price beers and $1 off drinks and appetizers for riders! Check out the brunch menu here>>

Thanks for your support of WABA and cycling in the DC area!”

Down the Rabbit Hole

When I was younger, hardly anyone I knew died.  All but one of my grandparents were dead long before my birth.  But people I knew died only once every two or three years if that often. As I got older, more of them moved away, especially to Florida and Arizona, and then died.  But lately, those who leave permanently are getting more numerous.  Every year at the Oscar ceremony, the Academy says goodbye to the actors and directors we've become not only familiar with but grown to love. And for every one of them who passes, there's more people I know personally.

I've been thinking of this more often now because of Martha.  Martha has been one of my best friends ever.  And she's leaving us.  Karen, one of her other friends, says, "I think I intuited this was happening to her maybe 4-5 years ago because of the nature of our calls, then their thinning out, then ceasing completely, and the cease of e-mails."  I know what she mean about Martha's "disappearance" oh so gradually. 

Martha as we knew her--with her vibrant, brilliant, beautiful, and mischievous spirit, the strong, creative teacher, artist, mother, and grandmother who loved to cook so much they tore out half their downstairs to create a huge kitchen with a professional range, who taught her beloved Ruby to play the recorder, the piano, and the violin--has left the stage. Still, she began with so much more than just about anyone else I know on the planet, so even her diminishing leaves her ahead of most of us. She informed me in a recent out-of-the-blue phone call that she has a full-time job, though unpaid, helping out where she lives--she has moved to a nursing home specializing in persons with brain injuries (including dementia and related ailments).  She's still reaching out to people, still teaching--calligraphy!--helping fill her fellow residents' days with accomplishment.  Still, we weep, even though she's not dead.  

My own much more unprepossessing life is going down the rabbit hole, too.  My days are very different now from what they were.  By choice.  I'm thinking more, rereading my beloved books more, remembering the past more even as I forget just about any odd piece of recent information on any given day. Swimming has become less of an athletic chore and more of the joyous splashing and paddling I did at Lake Sallie. Walking has become something I do to save money as well as my arteries.  It's all good.

In Case You're in the Neighborhood on Wednesday....

Prince of Petworth made this announcement on The 5 PM Post today:

“On Wednesday, September 22, from 7:30 pm – 8:30 pm Sierra Club presents Ian Woodall, a world famous mountain climber, who will speak on his life changing climbs to the top of Mount Everest in his talk entitled “The Tao of Everest.” His presentation will be held at Harriet’s Restaurant, 436 11th Street NW (near Metro Center and Archives stas.).

Between 1996 and 2007, Ian conceived, planned and led five expeditions to Mount Everest, reaching the summit on two occasions but also experiencing the death of fellow climbers along the way. He explores what these experiences mean to him in a presentation he calls the Tao of Everest.”

 DC has lots of things like this, but they're too late at night for me.  I can check out Harriet's Restaurant, though.  Never heard of or saw that before!   And check the link to the Tao of Everest!

TGIF!! Obama appoints Warren!!!

 OK, This arrived in my inbox today:

Top Five Things You Should Know About Elizabeth Warren

1. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau was her idea. Here's why she thinks this agency is so critical: "It is impossible to buy a toaster that has a one-in-five chance of bursting into flames and burning down your house. But it is possible to refinance your home with a mortgage that has the same one-in-five chance of putting your family out on the street."¹
2. The Republicans are so scared of her, they tried to pass a law blocking her from leading the agency. Republicans in Congress and the big Wall Street banks have always been against Warren leading the new consumer agency. Republicans even offered an amendment that was widely understood as designed to block Warren. That amendment failed.²
3. She is one of the most prominent, successful and fierce female lawyers in America. Coming from working-class roots, she graduated from high school as a debate star at 16. She finished law school when she was nine months pregnant. And she has repeatedly been named one of the fifty most influential female lawyers by the National Law Journal and was twice nominated as one of Time Magazines 100 Most Influential People (among other honors).³
4. She spoke truth to power about the failed foreclosure program. The Home Affordability Modification Program was supposed to save homeowners from losing their homes but has left many deeper in debt than they were before. Warren used her position on the Congressional Oversight panel to bring the voices of these disaffected homeowners right to the decision makers in the administration and demand accountability.⁴
5. She may have actual superpowers. She once calmed the entire crowd of an NBA game with her encyclopedic basketball knowledge. She explained the financial meltdown so clearly to Jon Stewart he said it made him "want to make out with" her.

Re: item #3, Warren is CLEARLY the anti-P----!  Warren was a debate star at 16, finished law school when she was 9 mos. pregnant. Take that, O ditz from Homer!

(if you click "This" in my first sentence, you'll get the references for all the footnotes and possibly a video of Jon Stewart interviewing Ms. Warren.)  I dunno...the networks have been slower than molasses in January for the past 3 or so days....

Have a swell weekend!

Happy Monday....the Gals in their 80s have it today!

Margaret & Helen have a great post on, ostensibly, the Q'uran burning guy, but more to the point, what it means if you vote Republican (sorry, dear sweet rellies. Just because we share phylogeny doesn't mean we share ontogeny).

http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/

A choice quote from this post:

...considering what they [Republicans] did when we gave them the keys to the car the last time, are you really ready to put them behind the wheel again so soon?  I’m just not sure there are that many more countries we can bomb, world religions we can vilify, and oil wells we can drill before the rest of the world calls us on our bullshit.

Here’s a thought.  If  Pastor Jones is so dead set on burning a book he should just wait until The George Bush Memoirs come out. 

Ah, Grandchildren....how they teach and teach us....

I'm borrowing my grandson Ian's FB post today.  He says:

"You can build the mosque, just not THERE." 

"You can sit on the bus, just
not THERE." 

"You can get married, just not to that person right THERE." 

"You can have a baby, just not There"

That's making it plain and easy for the Teabaggin' geniuses.....

 Thanks, Ian

Those Were The Days, Indeed

Darlene's post on Facebook this morning said "Frank Rich Says It All for Me." So I hopped to the NYT and read his column.  But whoa!  When I clicked the little FB symbol to post this on my FB page, I was greeted with the following request to allow the New York Times to:

Access my basic information Includes name, profile picture, gender, networks, user ID, list of friends, and any other information I've shared with everyone. Send me email The New York Times may email me directly at XXXXXXX · Post to my Wall The New York Times may post status messages, notes, photos, and videos to my Wall Access posts in my News Feed Access my data any time The New York Times may access my data when I'm not using the application Access my friend lists Access my profile information Likes, Music, TV, Movies, Books, Quotes, About Me, Interests, Groups, Birthday, Education History and Work History Access my contact information Hometown, Current City and Website

FB wants me to give access to all of this PRIVATE information to the NYT in exchange for reprinting a column I like?   Um, no thanks!  


This is new.  I haven't got this particular page before when I linked to a NYT article on my FB page.  No more spontaneous attemps to promote Times columns (precious few, btw) that make sense to me.  Those days are over. 

How about some haunting music for the background?

"Those were the days, my friend. We thought they'd never end. We'd sing and dance forever and a day....lalalalalala......"  Mary Hopkins made this song popular in my relative youth, but before that it was a Russian folk song.  Remember?

Always worthwhile to stop by Echidne on Saturday night!!!

Here's her latest post, and a wonderful one it is!!  (If you're too tired to click the link, here it is in plain sight:

Ten Things Barack Obama Could Do To Save His Floundering Presidency [Anthony McCarthy] 

1. Fire Rahm Emanuel 2. Fire Tim Geithner 3. Fire Larry Summers 4. Fire Robert Gibbs 5. Fire David Axelrod 6. Appoint Elizabeth Warren, for crying out loud 7. Fire Alan Simpson 8. Give the House members something they can run on. 9. Stop giving your base the finger. We gave you a bigger mandate than any of your recent predecessors had. WE are the ones you owe, not the cast of clowns listed above. 10. Act like a president, for crying out loud. If you're just going to send out Gibbs to pretend you're powerless, If you're going to keep this up, step aside and let someone else try.  I second all of these motions!!!

70F and TGIF!

It's so not hot I can't sleep.  That may be the result of imbibing so much diet cola this aft, but it is pleasant in here for a change. Yes, we do have air conditioning, but this is good ol' Washing DC, which has been very hot for a while.

Here's a good one: Hungover Owls

Found it on Wrath of Dawn.

TGIF, folks!

Love Ya, Margaret & Helen!

If you haven't read Margaret & Helen's blog, you're in some kind of a cave.  Here's their post for today
about the past weekend's peckerwood picnic in DC. 

And whoa!  they seem to have got an accurate count for that, finally:  less than 100,000!  Here's my favorite part:

The greatest threat against America is not terrorism.  It’s not a mosque in Manhattan.  It’s not gay marriage.  It’s not healthcare reform.  And, believe it or not, it’s not even Beck or Palin.  The greatest threat against America are the tens of millions of Americans who won’t turn out to vote this November effectively giving power to 87,000 angry assholes.

Prayer in School

When I was in elementary school, I went to a public school for five years and a parochial school for three.  The reason given by my Roman Catholic parents for sending me to public school was that for the first two years, I was too small to walk a mile from my house to the parochial school. The parochial school had a bus, but if your house was less than a mile from school, you couldn't ride it.  Our house was half a block from the cutoff point. Thus. when I was a skinny five-year-old, I just beat the January cut-off, when you had to be six or start the next year, and started first grade at the public school, which was a block and a half away from our house. During the summer after second grade, when I was seven, I came down with polio and had to miss the first month or two of third grade.  The public school said I wouldn't have to repeat third grade, despite having missed a good chunk of it, so I went there for fourth grade, too.  In all that time, the parochial kept its ban on short-distance bus rides, and the weather in North Dakota did not warm up.

I'm saying all this because I think I can speak from experience about prayer in school.  My public school classmates--and neighbors--were mostly Lutherans of various stripes, some stricter than others, with Presbyterians and Methodists, at least some Plymouth Congregationalists, and one Jewish boy escaped from Germany tossed into the mix.  I can vouch for their collective piety, although it was not the same as my own.  Every morning in the public school we all stood up and recited the Pledge of Allegiance.  Period.  No prayers.

Then I went to the parochial school for fifth grade and enjoyed the long "short cuts" my beautiful classmate Judy and I devised--through alleys, over fences--twice a day (we walked home for lunch, too, unless it was more than -15F).  We arrived at school, shed our boots and jackets in the cloak room, then stood and recited the Pledge of Allegiance, followed by the Guardian Angel prayer: "Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's Love entrusts me here. Ever this day, be at my side to light, to guard, to rule and guide."  Period.  Even in the religious parochial school, we had the bare minimum of civic and religious piety.  It's not as if we spent an hour in prayer or anything, and it's not as if we knelt down, bowed our heads, or sang hymns, either.  The Guardian Angel prayer, to us kids anyway, was more like a rabbit's foot--something to have with you just in case.

As far as behavior being different in the two places--one with added prayer, one without--I can say with great assurance that the place WITHOUT the prayer was somehow better: less nasty, more fun, more open to whatever it is that makes one's small life worth singing about--good teachers, sensible curriculum (in the parochial school, all of our academic grades--say, for five classes--were divided by SIX:  the sixth being attendance at daily mass and communion.  go figger.)  I dunno.  I just think that those people who pine for the good old days when our young minds and hearts were blessed by religion are chasing an effing MYTH.  The pubs were no better or worse than the Cat-lickers.  The kindest and best teachers I had were both Protestant and Catholic.  There was no preponderance of beatitude on either front. 


   

"Stand Up and Let Them Have It."

Dedicated to LRH in gratitude for her call to use the anger....

Cathy gave me a book several Christmases ago:  Lawrence Ferlinghetti's Poetry As Insurgent Art.  It's propped on the tray of my easel, which I keep in the bathroom for lack of any other space, and I read it from time to time.  Yesterday seemed a good time to re-read it.

There was lots of hatred in DC yesterday, lots of anger, but none of it was in the black people with whom I spoke.  They were friendly and loving as always, despite the fact that some of the streets were full of angry, angry white people who were pissed off about almost everything--the heat, the metro, the non-white people everywhere they looked.  The place was a mini-tinder box--people howled if the metro doors slammed shut on them [well, they do...this is not the NYC subway...only the uninitiated try to prevent DC metro doors from closing]; they got on the wrong train and shoved other passengers aside roughly to get off.

I've said since arriving here from the MidWest almost 20 years ago, that the best thing about Washington is not the beautiful architecture or gardens or museums or rich cultural offerings, but the black people.  Oh, sure...knuckleheads abound in all races, but the black people in DC have something special:  they love each other, and many of them share deep roots with our nation's capitol. Their grandfathers grew up on K Street in small frame houses now replaced by granite buildings housing big law and PR firms, or their grandmothers grew up just southeast of Union Station where the slave pens used to be. They have a special sense of family that is simply awesome to me, coming from people who came through Ellis Island and think nothing of putting huge distances between themselves and other family members.  My DC coworkers would come to work on Monday and laugh when describing their weekends: "I had 18 people sleeping in my apartment Friday and Saturday night.  It was my cousin's birthday, and everyone came here for his party."  One of my coworkers memorably bought herself a motor home and parked it in her driveway when her kids became teenagers; she moved into it and turned over the house to the children.  "They are loud and happy and drive me nuts," she said,  "and I need my peace."  Her bumper sticker says "Too Blessed To Be Stressed."

DC is the only place I've lived where--especially in the "bad areas" warned against by the teabaggers this past weekend--young and old get up and give their seat on the bus to a pregnant woman or young mother struggling with a baby in arms or a crippled guy or a woman laden with grocery bags or just an old(er) person.  These are sweet people, through and through.  One of the best things about being able to hear again is to hear the people chatting and laughing on the bus home from work on Friday night.  They all know each other in the "bad areas," (where I guess I live, too) and they love each other.

I'm afraid I don't love the Faux News stooges who headlined this past weekend's non-event at the Lincoln Memorial.  That bothers me.  I feel so angry with them that I entertain many ugly thoughts about them and what I hope will be their fate.  I haven't found a good use for my anger yet.  But I have discovered the smile.  So I smiled this past weekend at my fellow passengers on the metro.  Only the black ones smiled back.  They especially appreciated my Michelle Obama t-shirt "Yes, We Can!!"
I think that's what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., was trying to tell us: Love is stronger than even death.

Ferlinghetti has some great lines in his book on poetry, and they fit the present situation in DC and the USA in general:

I am signaling you through the flames.

          The North Pole is not where it used to be.

Manifest Destiny is no longer manifest.

Civilization self-destructs.

Nemesis is knocking at the door.

What are poets for, in such an age?
What is the use of poetry?

The state of the world calls out for
poetry to save it.

If you would be a poet, create works
capable of answering the challenge
of apocalyptic times, even if this
means sounding apocalyptic.

You are Whitman, you are Poe, you
are Mark Twain, you are Emily
Dickinson and Edna St. Vincent
Millay, you are Neruda and Maya-
kovsky and Pasolini, you are an
American or non-American, you can
conquer the conquerors with words.
. . .
If you call yourself a poet, don't just
sit there. Poetry is not a sedentary
occupation, not a "take your seat"
practice.  Stand up and let them
have it.

DC Cake Trail

One of my favorite blogs is Scotland for the Senses, and today's post (well, I think it's today, but the author talks about going on hiatus, so maybe it was written earlier) is on her Edinburgh cake trail!  What a great idea!  Like most great ideas, they are somebody else's, but who cares?  I'm happy to reveal the sources of my genius so other can enjoy it, too.

It occurs to me that blogging about a DC cake trail would be something I could do--go somewhere and have a cup of tea and a piece of cake.  That's not too hard or expensive to do.  In fact, I already have a couple of entries on my DC cake trail--even though two of them are not in DC per se.  They're more in the greater DC metropolitan area. I'll make sure to take pictures after this first post, too.

#1 is the carrot cake at Joe Muggs's Coffee, which is inside Books-A-Million on Dupont Circle, where New Hampshire Ave heads off toward Maryland.  Really, there are a gazillion places to get carrot cake in DC, but this is really good!  It's moist and tender, and even the carrot bits are bright and fresh.  Also, there is just enough of their dreamy cream cheese frosting.  A+, Joe Muggs!! 

#2 is the Citrus Pound Cake at Mon Ami Gabi in Bethesda, 7239 Woodmont Ave.  (And yes, Cathy, there IS a Mon Ami Gabi in Las Vegas!!)  Because my faithful luncheon companion and I always share one dessert, I'm happy to say that this is one big slab of tender pound cake splashed with lemon curd, fresh fruits in a vanilla sage sauce, and plenty of whipped cream!  Verra good.  Leave room for dessert if you want this.  I'm not kidding.

#3 is the sweet potato cupcake at Delectable Cakery by the south side of the traffic circle on Rhode Island Avenue and 34th St. in Mt. Rainier, MD.  (Disclaimer: this happens to be right next to my landlady's frame shop, so I've had lots of them--still, their appeal never dies.)  It's a little sweetie darling of a cupcake. A great way to get your veggies, too.

 I spotted what looked like a great piece of cake in Georgetown's La Ruche this afternoon, too, although I eschewed dessert so I could get to the previews before "Eat, Pray, Love" started.  I'll go back and see if it's any good.  Nothing like proper research!!!

I have a dream--full version

Today, the (pick one) Teabaggers/pseudo patriots/whiners about government/the shockingly ignorant and disrespectful will be claiming to "restore honor" to (pick one) the National Mall/the Lincoln Memorial/white trash everywhere in this US of A.  This is shocking hubris from who else? Faux News and its house puppets.

If you're not inclined to add to the crowd count, you can stay home and honor the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who spoke it on this day many years ago, by listening to his speech.

XE thanks Charles Blow in today's NY Times for this great idea.  Blow writes,

I’ve come to the conclusion that anger is the wrong reaction to Beck’s rally in Washington. Anger provides too low a return on investment. It consumes a tremendous amount of energy, but yields little progress. Instead, we should each take this opportunity to listen to the “I Have a Dream” speech once more, paying particular attention to how the echoes of yesterday’s struggles reverberate in our present struggles, and to recommit ourselves to the nobility of righteous pursuits.

We should use Glenn’s nightmare to reconnect with Martin’s dream.

[If the above link doesn't work, here's the video:

 

TGIF

Got the latest update on Best in Blogs from SixApart this ayem.   And while snooping around, I found this gem on Foodinista (one of the top 10 food blogs of the Best in Blogs):

http://thefoodinista.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/preschool-packed-lunch-week-in-review

This may be too late for you, or maybe you have found it....but these are the BEST preschool lunches
I've ever seen!!  in fact, I think this would make fabulous DIET lunches for fat old folks like me!! 

TGIF!!

We don't want THESE Leaves of Grass!!

This past weekend, I got this email from a fellow Mt. Rainier resident in the town website:

[On Sunday] I will be up at Little Paint Branch Park to work on clearing a patch of two aggressive invasive plants that are threatening the wonderful native woodlands plants that live there, and I'm inviting people to join me. The two plants (wavyleaf basketgrass and Japanese stilt grass) are very easy to remove, and it only takes a few minutes to learn to identify them.

I googled around and found this about wavyleaf basketgrass in the blog Invasive Notes

An invasive species is spreading from the Baltimore area of Maryland south to Washington and west to the Blue Ridge of Virginia. Like a fire in the forest, wavyleaf basketgrass (Oplismenus hirtellus subsp. undulatifolius (Ard.) U. Scholz, Phanerog. Monogr.) [1] is spreading rapidly and replacing the natural diversity with its mono-culture habit of eco-system and eco-service destruction. This grass, which remains taxonomically confused and, therefore, not precisely identified or categorized, is spreading in public parks and on private lands in the Baltimore Washington Metropolitan area.

The other invasive species, Japanese Stilt Grass, is featured here.

Japanese stilt grass is currently established in 16 eastern states, from New York to Florida. It occurs on stream banks, river bluffs, floodplains, emergent and forested wetlands, moist woodlands, early successional fields, uplands, thickets, roadside ditches, gas and power-line corridors, lawns and gardens. Japanese stilt grass threatens native understory vegetation in full sun to deep shade. Stilt grass readily invades disturbed shaded areas, like floodplains that are prone to natural scouring, and areas subject to mowing, tilling and other soil-disturbing activities including white-tailed deer traffic. It spreads opportunistically following disturbance to form dense patches, displacing native wetland and forest vegetation as the patch expands. Japanese stilt grass appears to be associated with moist, acidic to neutral soils that are high in nitrogen.

 I took these two photos of stilt grass; the bottom photo shows the shiny midrib on its leaf.

 The leaf of stilt grass has a distinguishing shiny midrib so you can tell it from other plants.  It looks sort of like very delicate bamboo. They're easy to pull up, and we want to get them now before they start flowering and producing seeds next month.  (One of the distinguishing characteristics of stilt grass is that it is very easy to pull up.  If you have to tug or feel a wiry stem, it may not be stilt grass.)

Alas, I didn't take any photos of the wavyleaf basketgrass.  (You can see these in the link to Invasive Notes above.) The leaves, as described, are, well, way...kind of rumpled and thicker than the stilt grass and also a bit hairy or fuzzy on the top.  Some of that has started the flowering/seed process already.  I found almost a dozen plants with seeds on them, and they require careful handling so as not to knock off the seeds.  We put them in bags, but I don't know what our leader/guide will do with them.  All the plants with seeds were growing under fallen branches resting about 6-8" above the ground.  The basketgrass also sends out shoots from nodules along the stems, so it does produce a mat fast. The long shoots make it harder to pull up, too.
 
Even though my college degree is in biology, it was all human biology or microbiology--no plants.  So I'm enjoying this tremendously.  I think I may have found a good volunteer niche. 

We were going to go yesterday (Sunday) but got rained out.  Today was dry, sunny, and cooler...perfect for pulling weeds in the forest.

Happy 90th Birthday, Dear Lida!!!

Lida Moser and her family know how to throw a swell party!  Lida joyfully greeted her many guests for her 90th birthday fete this afternoon.  Lida's birthday was really this past Tuesday, but as she said, "Nobody can come to a party in the middle of the week," so we all gathered today instead.  Lida's cousin Stephanie set it all up at Lida's favorite Greek restaurant, and it was a blast.

There's nobody at all like Lida: acclaimed photographer, artist, and writer; warm, affectionate, loyal friend; generous companion; lover of all that's beautiful and good. Lida says she loves being old. She says this stage of her life has been wonderful and full of grace.  It hasn't been easy, but she's fought off illness and injury with her characteristic vigor and persistence.  

Happy birthday, Lida!  I'm so lucky to be your friend. 

Three steps backward--and another step back, too.

1.  I am flummoxed by my cell phone camera.  Or is it the PC?  the Mac?  I can't download the photos any more.  I used to be able to email them from the camera to my laptop, but in their efforts to improve my life, HP and/or Mac have removed a step from the process--the one that puts the URL of the photo in the email and thus allows me to move it to my desktop, drop it into iPhoto and fiddle with it, and then move it back to the desktop whence I can attach it to my blog or an email.  Hmph.  It still arrives in my email, but when I go to download it, I get this program that won't let me have my way with my own photo.

2.  One of my back teeth fell apart!  Too much brushing and flossing, I say.  For years, the only thing holding my teeth together has been the plaque!

3.  I firmly believe I had the right to vote for President Obama, but after his flipflop on the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque" (which is not exactly an accurate description), I'm not so sure about the wisdom of doing that.

4. My ongoing fitness program goes on--or sometimes--away.  Today I got to the swimming pool and was too tired to go down, get into my suit, take the shower, etc., then go find giant-size flippers and a bouyancy belt, and swim.  So I just sat in a nice comfy chair in the lobby, read my new book while a bunch of exuberant, post-swim 4-year-olds pounded on the windows overlooking the pool, and fell asleep.  Bliss.  I so needed that nap.