Set Yourself Free: Letting Go of Perfection
It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.
In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.
It's very easy for me to forget that my life has been one of exploration and learning--and dealing with whatever the universe has handed to me--rather than measuring up to umpteen standards of perfection. I've never been perfect or gotten the lion's share of approval, and that's been a constant source of fear and anxiety. I can just let that go, huh? I think Byron Katie's experiences and her books say much the same thing (though she says it much better, and she's made a heap of $$ from it, too).....
I tend to be a perfectionist. I should modify that by saying I want to be a perfectionist, but I never make the cut. Perfection eludes me all the time. I used to berate myself for not coming up to my impossible standards, but no more. I finally learned the truth of that article and am happy to be content with trying to do my best and letting it go at that.
ReplyDelete"Ring the bells that still can ring
ReplyDeleteForget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."
- Leonard Cohen
First read it after I went deaf. I cried with something that felt like relief.
You're a musician, right, Darlene? That adds yet another layer to the search for perfection.
ReplyDeleteRonnie: that is utterly beautiful. i just put it on my profile. funny how perfectionists like me are often caught up short by such things as sudden, unexpected deafness or blindness or loss of a limb....then we have to deal with REALITY rather than just our miserable thoughts. how's the sneaux up there, btw? still falling?
Always still falling, ME.
ReplyDelete