For Pete's Sake, Martha....

I like Martha Stewart. I think she got a raw deal being sent to the pokey, and I love her FOOD magazine. But here's her "to-do" list for January as it came to me today via e-mail from the Martha Stewart Living Newsletter. Glory Jee to Besus, Martha....

The new year brings a chance to start fresh. Now that the holidays are behind us, we can focus on organizing and making plans. Here's what's on the to-do list this month:

Make New Year's resolutions. Take stock of what you've accomplished over the past year, and make a new list of goals.

Catch up on correspondence, and write holiday thank-you notes. (Mail them by the end of January.)

Clean wood floors. How you treat your floors will depend on their finish. Vacuum first to remove dust and dirt, and then clean polyurethaned floors with a damp mop and a mild cleanser. If the floors are waxed, strip the old wax, and then reseal. Let dry, then buff. (Do this once a year.)

Update calendars and planners. Take time to make appointments for annual physicals, biannual dental exams, and so on.

Test batteries in appliances and smoke and carbon monoxide detectors; replace if necessary. (Do this twice a year.)

Clean out closets. Start the year with an orderly wardrobe. Sort items by type and color so they're easy to find. (Do a thorough cleaning once a season.)

Review household paperwork. Prepare for tax season and a meeting with your accountant. Gather financial documents, receipts, and other papers for filing taxes. This is also a good time to check insurance policies and make necessary updates.

Right. All these things are really good to do. That last one "Review household paperwork" is a hot one. I have the most wonderful accountant in the world, and I have a whole drawer in my desk into which I stuff the kind of thing he'll want to see. God love ya, Joe. It was a happy day (well...) when I moved to Brooklyn and discovered your office on the main drag.

Speaking of papers, I started cleaning up my office today, and I was relieved as heck to find that one of the stacks of papers that have been weighing down my desk and that credenza thing in the back consisted entirely of old permission requests from 2004 and 2005!!! These have already been entered in my log (yes, in 2004 and 2005!), and I can't even remember now why I kept them. (Probably just too busy to think. Who has time to think?) So they took a flyer to the circular file under my desk. Too easy!

"Update calendars and planners" - There's another good one. I spent a couple of hours looking for the slip of paper with Billy the Plumber's phone number. My garbage disposal is clogged again--or rather, the drain pipe way below it is clogged. I do not put any garbage down my disposal. Occasionally there will be some crumbs from the sink, but that's it. I don't believe in throwing my garbage in the river, which is what would happen to it I used the disposal. However, as it was last time, this will probably be clogged with long curly hair, and again, as last time, this will not be my hair (or hairs as they say in parts of North Dakota). Two of my nearest neighbors have long curly hair, but it never seems to affect their drains...just mine. Anyway, I did enter Billy the Plumber's number in my Filofax. Let's hope he's still answering that phone.

New Year's resolution? I liked Sally's: gain ten pounds. And I've already done that, so I can relax until 2008!! (Well, that's just rhetoric....who can relax as long as GWBush is still in office?)