Our Own Daily Digest

“All the New that Fits, We Print” Published Every Thursday, give or take…
October 31, 2006, Volume 1, #6 (OK, so it’s Tuesday…so sue me!)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
Some very short skeletons; princesses; miscellaneous cats, bears, and pumpkins; superheroes; tiggers (yes, TIGGERS…remember Winnie the Pooh?); and at least one pirate dropped in on PID this morning and cleaned out the candy bowls. We were not supposed to give them candy, but gee whiz…if word got out that we were giving out nonsugary items like orange-and-black paperclips, as suggested, the wee folk would not show up next year, and Susan Flanigan would not get to wear her coal black fright wig. Cat tried to pawn her electric blue one off on yrs. truly, but your reporter doesn't like wigs. They itch.

THE FUTURE OF GALLAUDET
Now that the protest is over, there’s understandable nervousness about the future of Gallaudet University. Please relax. I have it from an excellent source that the Gallaudet campus and buildings will become the new deaf town, supplanting the place in South Dakota, which is just too doggone cold and far away from Metro. Don’t be surprised next spring to see condos springing up on the football and soccer/baseball fields. The most desirable units, however, will be in the historic buildings: the Gate House, College Hall, Chapel Hall, Fowler Hall, and Kendall Hall. Ole Jim will become a 24-hour, seven-day-a-week casino, the revenue from which will support the new "Gallaudet Experience in Total Deaf Living" (formerly known as Gallaudet University). The Kellogg Hotel and Conference Center will remain and be used as a hostel for family members, lawyers, and visitors.

ASL-O-RAMA
To increase the ASL skills of all Gallaudet community members, what’s left of the administration announces that an ASL-O-RAMA will be held every weeknight at 4:30 p.m. in the Jordan Center’s Rathskeller for the foreseeable future. Free beverages and snacks will be supplied by the Board of Trustees’s aptly named slush fund. The Board has decreed that everyone on campus will understand everyone else in ASL or be run off the property. DOT employees will serve as designated drivers for participants so nobody gets hauled in for DUI. See ya at the Rat!!