Bidness communiques....

OUR OWN DAILY DIGEST
“All the New that Fits, We Print” Published Every Thursday, give or take…

Our Own Daily Digest All the News that Fits, We Print!

August 24, 20006, Volume 1, #4

Welcome Back, Little Susie!

Intrepid world traveler Susan Flanigan has returned from her three week vacation in France! By her good example, Susan has showed us that, yes, one can come back to work after a 3-week vacation, even when one has been in Normandy, Burgundy, and Brittany! Since most of us never experience a 3-week vacation, however, we have never been put to the test. Susan tells us it is possible to buy a modest French property with a view for as little as $150,000, so what are you waiting for?? Thank you, Susan, for the delectable French sweets that graced la table de gourmand yesterday.


Annual Leave Required for Attending Funeral

Please mark your calendar and submit an annual leave request in advance for your own funeral. If you die before the end of the pay period, your estate will not receive a full check unless you have requested annual leave for the balance. Sick leave cannot be used since obviously you are no longer sick.


New Rules for Federal Workers

The Federal Government does not pay you for breathing, sitting on a chair, or answering your phone, no matter how much you feel you may need to do these things during working hours. Please limit the time you spend on these activities, as it cuts into the time spent on attending meetings, free breakfasts, and skits. (This is especially true for those in administrative positions whose workdays often consist of doing just that.) If you find these activities require more than 10 minutes for every 4 hours worked, please submit a request for annual leave.


The Labels Are Here!

For Families Count, that is!! Now what?


The DVD Cases Are Here!

They arrived while we were at the meeting, free breakfast, and skit. Mirabile dictu!



“All the New that Fits, We Print” Published Every Thursday, give or take…
August 10, 20006 Volume 1, #3

Working Hours

It has been brought to OODD's attention that some of us have been staying LATER than is approved! This bit of intelligence boggles OODD’s mind. OODD therefore announces our new CONTEST OF THE WEEK (COTW): “Guess who hangs around after Margaret leaves (GWHAAML)?” A big bottle of Prozac will be awarded to the person who can identify anyone from PID left in the building after Margaret’s car clears the front gate.

MORE POTLUCKS!!!!

Those jolly, big hearted, big eating goofballs in PID just can’t stop themselves from working all day and cooking all night! Three more POTLUCKS are scheduled for next week alone: Yinka’s birthday (August 14), Matt’s departure (August 18), and for those who who need to gain weight, Julia Child’s birthday (August 15).

Families Count! Labels Due This Month!

OODD is fairly certain that the labels for the Families Count! containers will be arriving sometime in August or September of THIS YEAR, marking the end of the production phase of Families Count! Year A. No parties, please. The project wrangler requests that anyone who wishes to celebrate this long overdue event join her at her favorite off-campus dispensary for appropriately mind-numbing liquid refreshments.

Dress Code

Since PID workers traditionally have been asked to follow the approved fashions at KDES, here are some tips from the KDES 2006-2007 Handbook (soon to be published):

Clothes must be clean...and in good condition - no rips, tears, or holes.
Clothes must fit reasonably well (not hang, drag, or hug too tight)
Clothes must cover shoulders, torso, hips, thighs and mid-section (yes, yours)
Shoes are required and should be comfortable and safe (no flip flops).
T-Shirts are acceptable but all words, pictures, logos and symbols must be appropriate for an elementary school environment. Plain t-shirts are preferred.
Shorts are acceptable but should be no more than 4 inches above the knee—well, depending on the knee, of course. Some should fall well below the kneecap!

Not Enough Acronyms!

OODD encourages all readers to Put Your Shoulders To The Wheel (PYSTTW) (how do you pronounce it? stick your tongue out and blow!) and produce more ACRONYMS. Hardly a day goes by that OODD sees terms and names and simple sentences that could be Collapsed Into Acronyms (CIA). Let's Get With It! (LGWI) Acronyms are as good as crossword puzzles for Fostering One's Mental Acuity (FOMA). Nobody will know what you are talking about. Don't Omit, Hey! (DOH)

August 3, 20006 Volume 1, #2


Find the Missing Paper!

OODD announces a new contest: Find the Missing Paper! 30 reams of copy paper has (i.e., have) walked off from the storeroom (also known as Matt’s and Yi’s office, the copy room, and the short cut to the parking lot). Your editors (sic) will offer a prize for the person who finds the paper first. HINT: the disappearance may involve whoever fixed the water in the bathrooms mentioned in our last contest. Lots of insulation was destroyed in getting to the pipes…OODD wonders if maybe the paper was used as a replacement! BTW, OODD is happy to announce that Cat V-P won the reward for being the first to sight a worker actually working on that problem. OODD awarded her the first flush! Congratulations, Cat!



Rosalinda Ricasa In the News Again

Now that Rosalie is a citizen, she is high-tailing it out of PID to work for the University as a teacher! Way to go, Rosalie! Rosalie will be happy to meet with any of our readers who want to follow in her footsteps. She will have a short seminar in preparing a resume, getting recommendations, and saying goodbye with a straight face.



Another Potluck!

To drown our sorrows over Rosalie’s departure, PID will gather in the big meeting room down the hall at 3-4 p.m. today for…..ICE CREAM sundaes!!! Celery and tofu bars will be available for those who have sworn off ice cream.



Families Count! Still Not Done

The labels are being printed for the boxes as your editors type (yes, there are two of us…i.e., one with double vision, anyway).

Just two more conference calls and a workshop, and the labels will be finished!! Then they have to be boxed, shipped, and sorted. And so on. Nothing is ever easy around here.


As we go to print, our editors are sorry, but the person who said they had an item for this issue is not here, and she has not left any messages as to what the item could be. So that’s it….happy sweltering!


OUR OWN DAILY DIGEST
“All the New that Fits, We Print” Published Every Thursday, give or take…
July 20, 2006 Volume 1, #1



Heat Blamed for Toilet Collapse in KDES

Excessive heat has been identified as the cause for the toilet malfunction on 3rd floor of KDES. Heavy use of water to cool off has meant there is more to flush and less to flush it with. Depends® available at the front desk. (Be sure to pick them up on your way INTO the building so that you don’t find yourself having an emergency at the far end of the building.) (Where our offices are located!) Projected date for completing the repairs has not yet been identified. Reward offered for any sightings of repair personnel actually working on this.



Families Count! Still Not Finished

The latest delay involves the packaging labels. Use of photographs of families actually using this educational kit have been banned on the labels. We can’t keep using the Adamca-Balzers, the Berrigans, and Leslie Page on everything!



Families Count! Year “2” in the Works

Or, Year “B”, as it will be known. Chronological labeling will not work.



Congratulations! Rosalie Ricasa Becomes U.S. Citizen!!

And what about the rest of you? Have you signed up for your test yet? Sample question: Who is buried in Grant’s Tomb?



Annual Employee Picnic to be Potluck

The format for the annual Gallaudet Employees Funfest and barbeque has been changed to a potluck. Please bring a card table & chairs and enough food, dishes, and utensils for yourself and three other people (any three). Those who wish to play games should bring their favorites, including golf clubs, tennis rackets, and Monopoly® boards. There will be a special tree set aside for playing Texas Hold-Em in the shade. Agnes Muse has resigned as leading line dancer. Any volunteers?



Submissions welcome

Your editors (sic) can’t think of everything all by themselves (sic sic).