The Daily Om article (see the right side of this blog) talks about labels today. It got me thinking about all the various labels people slap on other people. One that especially puzzles me is “Elder.” I completely get “divorcee,” “drunk,” “Giants fan,” and “fallen away Catholic” (plus “lapsed Quaker attender," although I’m trying to think of what they call people who don’t go to the Episcopal church any more…Anglicans??) but “Elder”?
So I looked it up, and “elder” means simply “one who is older than you."
Using that label seems to be a good way to set up a fight among that vast group of people, some with grey hair, who now can get into movies for a coupla bucks less than regular price—and who often do so in the middle of the day while everyone else is working.
From my point of view, a person in their 50s or 60s who calls themselves an “elder” is, um, loopy.
And as long as there are plenty of people LOTS older than I am, I don’t feel the need to call myself an “elder.” Except around my kids, as in “respect your elders.”
If my true elders want my respect, I’ll give it to them in honor of surviving so long—as long as they don’t call themselves “Republicans.” There’s a limit to this kind of thing.
intriguing. have thought about this before: we invest too much in how we designate ourselves and not enough in speaking out to represent our best interests.
ReplyDelete"elderblogger" seemed a useful way to talk about a subgroup quite different from the mass of bloggers. oh gee, you're going to argue with me! however, it does get attention that's necessary when i tell someone that's who i am.
can we talk about this more?
www.alittleredhen.com
awk...i think i just lost a whole comment...hmmm. well, what i said was Oh, goody! Naomi, I would LOVE to talk with you about this. I'm so happy and relieved you are not put out with me for having any questions about it. i think what agitates me most about what i perceive as a common use of this term by *cough* elders themselves is that it often seems to be a code word for VICTIM. You know, we can get jobs any more because we're elders, there are no decent movie roles being offered to us because we're elders, we can't even run for president without being flayed because we're elders...(joking a bit). (I can hear the rebuttals starting...NOOOOO...). Anyway, this is only one side of this particular coin, this victimhood. i want to explore the other side. eh?
ReplyDeleteover to you....
we CAN'T get jobs, i mean....
ReplyDeleteoh, yes...more on this, please!
ReplyDeleteSooooo we have a very neutral word--elder--that means those who are older than whoever is the subject of the event or situation or sentence. The wonderful neutrality of definition makes infinite sense, giving clarity to feelings surrounding such concepts as "tribal elders" and "respecting your elders" and "paranoid elders" (who equate the word with "victim.)"
ReplyDeleteOops. That last bit is a little inside joke. We are all victims, no? If nothing other than of the "thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to." And with any luck we will all be elders, unless, sad to say for those of us who wish there were no end to the youth/elder continuum, we are already elders. Or, even worse, we die before we make the full transition from youth.
And geeeeeez. Elder is tougher than teen no? For teens every change is exciting...voice, breasts, height, hair. Elder...yikes body heads south and mind heads out--as in to lunch. All of us are caught in the time warp, so teens look ahead to adulthood, and elders look ahead to death. And, every time we manage to forget this, some other piece of our physicality gives way again and reminds us of the place we hold and, inevitably are leaving behind.
But this is alllllllllll separate from the discrimination and prejudice with which society judges us when it bothers to see us at all. Especially if we are women.
And in the end it is this discrimination that is the most harmful to our spirit. We are a social species after all. Attitude hurts more than arthritis.
Anyone have any solutions? Grand wealth maybe?
we don't need grand wealth. there is enough money in the world for everyone. we don't need to have it all for ourselves. rather, we should worry about whether our hoarding money and possessions is hurting others by being a dam in the stream upon which they, too, depend.
ReplyDeletei think teens suffer way more than elders from what they perceive as discrimination and prejudice. elders should KNOW BETTER than to suck eggs if we're discriminated against. we should either get out there and fight for what we want or live with it.
we really don't know what death is like as a personal experience, either...just as we didn't experience birth, despite having been born. unless i'm not awake when i die, i expect it, like a 50 year high school reunion, will be at least interesting and possibly enjoyable.
Hmmmm...I dunno. Ever since we wrote--I mean our elders wrote...400 BC socrates, plato...youth equated pretty directly with beauty. And the beautiful. Boy. Was an object of admiration and desire.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, there is enough money for everyone. Maybe toooo much. But unfortunately a few at the tippy top hoard nearly all of it. They don't philosophize. They just enjoy the direct effect which is living without financial worry, and the indirect effect, which is, frankly, thinking they deserve it. We forget this, we, the struggling middle class. We believe in working hard, so we do. And we believe money is irrelevant morally, which it is. But we should not pretend that our system has not permitted these incredibly wealthy folks--and they are wealthier than most countries, wealthier than some continents. This is not just embarrassing...It is a moral and intellectual shame. Our progeny will look at us and wonder why we permitted it, like we wonder why our ancestors permitted slavery.
anonymous: why do i wish you would leave some hint of who you are, even if you don't want to publish your whole name?
ReplyDelete