Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet."
"How come?" asked Lars.
"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."
Lena: "Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor."
Ole: "Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous."
Lena: "Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor."
Ole: "You don't even know vat a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Ver is da car?"
Lena: "In da lake."
Three Minnestans go down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, Sven, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I yust graduated from St. Olaf College in Northfield and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens.;
They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for Sven's forgiveness, and release him.
The second, Lars, is strapped in and gives his last words, "I yust graduated from the Concordia College in Moorhead and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for his forgiveness, and release him.
The last one, Ole, is strapped in and says, "Vell, I'm from the University of Nort' Dakota in Grand Forks and yust graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this t'ing in."
One day Ole was at the store and was talking with a gentleman when he said, "I really don't know what I should get Lena for our anniversary."
"Well, what did you get her last time?" asked the other.
"I took her on a trip to Germany," answered Ole.
"Maybe you should take her on another trip," suggested the other.
Ole thought for a while and then said happily, "It would be the perfect gift! I'll send her a airline ticket so she can come back!"